My 1965 diary, transcribed a lifetime years later with annotations by some old lady. Oh wait, that's me. Angst! Bad poetry! Exclamation points!!!

September 24, 1965 I had a great time at the dance tonight - no Vincent S.! Boy am I glad. It bothers me to see all the guys I used to hang around with in 7th and 8th grade now going off with other girls of --well-- uncertain morals! I did dance, though. I danced with Brian, Marcia's brother, he's 2 years younger than me but OK, and Ronny B., a colored boy. I was nervous about dancing with him, but I did -- 3 times. Unknown4 2006-10-16T21:28:26.206-04:00 September 23, 1965 Here I am again! It's been a long time. Marty is going to school here. I'm going to a dance tomorrow noght. I hope someone dances with me!! (No one in particular, though.) Marcia says Joe R. stares at me in history. Ron M., a sophomore, stares at me in Spanish. I do hope this means something good -- a change in me. Bob's happy in college, and Mom is ready to go back to work after an operation. Wish me luck tomorrow! Unknown0 2007-11-07T12:55:35.997-05:00 August 14, 1965 The last day. Today I say goodbye to Chris,Debbie, "Bubbles", Betty, Karen, and many more. I hope they're not my last campers. Unknown0 2006-10-16T21:22:26.040-04:00 August 13, 1965 Mom and Dad didn't come. too bad. It was real nice. All the time we were dancing I just couldn't wait to go home, but I was crying during the ceremony. I want to come back next year. Hope I can. Unknown0 2006-10-16T21:20:42.743-04:00 August 12, 1965 Dad's birthday. He'll be 44.

Well, Dad came to visit today, Mom too. I'm glad they came. In fact, I almost cried I was so happy to see them. I hope they come to the candlelight ceremony tomorrow night. I was initiated as an Indian. My name is Graceful Pine. Unknown1 2006-10-16T21:18:31.670-04:00 August 11, 1965 We went to Highland Lake (Taylor Brook) on our bike hike today (15 miles). We'll come back Thursday. I rode the whole way. I slept between Debbie and Bubbles. We swam 2 times and it was great. What a beautiful lake! Unknown0 2006-10-16T21:16:24.726-04:00 August 10, 1965 We were going to go on our bike hike today, but it was too rainy and such. Instead we hiked to Hall Meadow, a swimming area 3 miles from camp. I got a sunburn a little bit. We lost the Timbers-Rock softball game 5-1. Unknown0 2007-11-07T12:56:14.328-05:00 August 9, 1965 My day off today! I went home with Freckles (Donna) in Norfolk. I learned how to play Fan-Tan and went swimming at Tobey Lake. I love Freckle's family. They have 4 girls and 3 boys. I watched "The Man from UNCLE", too! Unknown0 2006-10-16T21:12:02.926-04:00 August 8, 1965 We had a Gay 90's day today at Waterfront! Our unit had a fun house and counselor sponge bath. I got sponged. The staff put on a melodrama. Donny played Lilly, Pip was the villain, Del was the mother, Sparki was the good guy and I was the villain's henchman. Everyone fell in the water 1/2 way through the thing.

Fun! Unknown0 2007-11-07T12:56:52.471-05:00 June 16, 1965 I got 2 swim suits today!yellow and white. Marcia called. She went to Kirby's and Joey, Dennis and Rodney were there. Dennis likes her and Rodney asked her who the girl with the dress with the gold sunflowers was. IT WAS ME! She told him, when he asked how old I was and he asked if I was allowed to date.

WELL!!! Unknown3 2006-06-15T09:11:14.360-04:00 June 15, 1965 EXAMS ARE OVER.
I went shopping and got some sandals and shoes, and looked for a swim suit. Unknown0 2006-06-14T11:05:31.336-04:00 June 14, 1965 I got about a 96 in the biology exam!


YAY! Unknown0 2006-06-13T07:45:58.523-04:00 June 13, 1965 I slept about 5 1/2 hours. Unknown0 2006-06-12T08:39:11.700-04:00 June 12, 1965 Tonight we went. Marcia and I invited Bernadette, Susanne, Sandy S., Mary Ellen M.,Cindy J., Susy's sister and Marcia's brother, Brian. It was a blast. Rodney, the bass guitarist, kept looking at me. Dennis liked Marcia, and Joey was hypnotized by Susy (he's only 14). I danced with Brian and Kim H. Boy, does Kim dance c-l-o-s-e. I'll bet he knows now exactly how I looked undressed. Unknown0 2006-06-12T08:35:47.170-04:00 June 11, 1965 1st Exams - English and History. English was a breeze - HIstory was lousy! I'll bet I flunked (or almost did). I stayed over at Matcia's house. At 6, Mrs. Parker told Marcia that "she and her friends" had been invited to Durward Kirby's son's dance, but couldn't go. At 9, Mr. Parker came and took us! It was, however, the wrong night. We saw a rehearsal of the band. The lead guitar is Dennis Kirby, and the rhythm and lead singer is Joey Kennedy, who's been in "Oliver" and "Sound of Music" and the drummer is only 12 years old! Unknown0 2006-06-10T07:27:51.333-04:00 June 10, 1965 Last real day of school! The reason I haven't written much is that nothing has happened. It's all review and study - BLAH! We got our yearbooks. It's a nice one - black and gold. Bob, of course, if the best-looking guy in the class. All that's ;eft now is exam week. Unknown0 2006-06-06T07:47:20.310-04:00 June 6, 1965 Went to see "Satan Bug" with Terese. It was good! It was about germ warfare. George Maharis was in it, and I hate him. Unknown1 2006-06-02T09:49:36.223-04:00 June 2, 2006 I must apologize to 23 Sherwood Drive readers out there. The end of the school year in 1965 converged unpleasantly with the end of the school year in 2006, resulting in lengthy pauses in the 1965 diary and my own posts. There will be a flurry of entries over the next couple of weeks, and then a long silence, as I headed off for a summer as a program aide at Camp Maria Pratt, in Goshen, Connecticut. Instead, I will post reminiscences and photos from the summer of 1965 on a weekly basis, beginning June 19, when the diary falls silent. Unknown0 2006-06-02T09:44:08.156-04:00 May 31, 1965 Again with Terese, I went to Milbrook for the Memorial Day Services. I also stayed overnight. Unknown0 2006-06-02T09:43:15.710-04:00 May 30, 1965 Went to the movies - Cheyenne Autumn, with Sharon, Susy, Terese and Marcia. It was good, but not as good as "How the West was Won", its big brother. This time, 9 swearwords.
Mike J., a 1/2 wit, was pestering Susy. She was wearing pig tails and he kept fiddling with them. Unknown0 2006-06-02T09:41:22.626-04:00 May 28, 1965 Went to Marcia's for a pajama party. First Helen, Terese, Susanne, Sharon, Marcia and I went to the brook. All of us except Helen "fell" in. We danced alot , and at 12 we went "skinny-dipping" - Sharon, Susy, Marcia and me.

(Heh, Heh) Unknown0 2006-05-23T07:36:24.973-04:00 May 23, 1965 Stayed home from church today, but later went for a ride to Macedonia State Park. Mom took some trees from there last year. Unknown0 2010-05-07T13:49:41.900-04:00 May 22, 1965 O'Rourke's again. Talked to Helen almost all night, got $4. The Miss New Milford "Dog Shows" was tonight. There was no competition for beauty - they were all hags. Success lies in talent. A Warren girl won. Last year's Miss New Milford was Sue Waldron. There'll never be one like her again. Unknown0 2006-05-23T07:32:13.446-04:00 May 21, 1965 Babysat for the Kings tonight, while they went to chaperone the election-return dance. They told me who won: Kathie, Jane, Rick and Peggy -- the ones I voted for! Ricky will be a good chance for President next year. I'll support him if he runs. Unknown0 2006-05-23T07:30:07.236-04:00 May 20, 1965 The parties gave their platforms today. Really, the Go-Gos looked sick next to the Keys. The Keys were serious and to the point. The Go-Gos were ill at ease and unprepared. However, the Go-Gos have had better campaign gimmicks and might have the popularity needed. We'll see. Election tomorrow. Unknown0 2010-05-19T11:35:34.326-04:00 May 19, 1965 My birthday. I want Vince all wrapped up!!

I wrote that a long time ago. I don't mean it now.

For my birthday I got a new pocketbook. It's about time!
We also played softball in gym. Lotza fun. I think we won. Unknown1 2006-05-23T07:25:56.663-04:00 May 18, 1965 The Go-Go party had a rally and block dance tonight. It was neat! The Mystics played, and they had records, too.
I went off with 6 other kids - 2 boys, 4 girls, on a crazy ride up Lover's Leap. I was scared. It was an old car and he drove fast. By the way - last year the parties were the Progressives and the Wallabies. The Progressives (Art C., Bill P., Jane M. and Kathie T.) won. Unknown0 2006-05-23T07:22:35.396-04:00 May 17, 1965 The tapping for Honor Society was today. Dorrie was the only soph to get it. Maybe I'll make it next year. School elections are here again. It's Go-Go's vs. Keys. President: Kathie T. vs. Bob B., Veep - Norm C. vs. Jane M., Treas.- Bob Z. vs. Rick P., and Sec'y - Joyce G. vs. Peggy B. I'm for Kathie, Jane, Rick and Peggy. They're the best. Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:41:13.356-04:00 May 16, 1965 Bah Humbug Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:40:41.123-04:00 May 15, 1965 Babysitting at O'Rourke's. They got home at 1 o'clock. That's 4 dollars for me! So much for financial statements. Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:39:40.730-04:00 May 14, 1965 Today's Marcia's birthday. We also ran the 600 and did the softball throw. I did about 90 feet in the softball throw and ran the 600 in 2:12. Last year I did 2:21. Maybe I'll break 2 minutes next year. I hope so! That would be neat!

We saw "Signal 30" today. It's about accidents. It shows bodies. It's awful! Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:37:39.010-04:00 May 13, 1965 The foam is a jinx! We lost a meet to one of the lowest teams. 'Nuff sed. Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:36:57.306-04:00 May 12, 1965 We were out on the track today. We did the 50 yard dash. Next time we do the softball throw and I guess the 600 (ugh).

That's all for now. Nothing goes on anymore. Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:35:56.600-04:00 May 11, 1965 Well, Richard'smishap brought some changes. The pole vault pit is filled with foam stuff. It's real soft. It wouldn't help Richard, though. He fell on the track, missing the pit entirely. Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:34:33.170-04:00 May 10, 1965 We had a track meet today and in the pole vault Richard M fell and broke his elbow in three places. That ought to put him out of comission for a couple of weeks. It was awful, though. His elbow was just bent like this (grotesque sketch).

He didn't cry or grimmace or anything. Boy, I would have. Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:32:15.756-04:00 May 9, 1965 I forget what I did - nothing, I guess. Unknown0 2006-05-16T09:31:13.706-04:00 May 8, 1965 Helen called today. Debbie told her about when she went out with Vincent. He was on top of her. Debbie thinks he's hers, but Dottie S., who was double-dating with them, says Vinnie's just using her because she is willing. I suppose it's true. After all, Debbie's never been very popular and when all of a sudden a really cute guy goes for her, she wants to go all out. Well, let her. He's a s.o.b. anyway. Unknown0 2010-05-07T13:42:49.366-04:00 May 7, 1965 Slave Day was a success. I didn't bid. Vincent went for $6.20. Claire went for $15! We made about $56.00 on 24 slaves -- not bad.

At the dance V didn't ask me. All he did was insult me and I'm willing to admit that's all I did, too. I'm mad at him - yes - I hate him now. He's nothing I thought he was. He drives fast, drinks and swears. I'd think twice before I went out with him. My virtue would be at stake. he's also a wolf. Oh well! Unknown0 2006-05-07T08:24:42.033-04:00 May 6, 1965 Well, I was o.k. today, too! Smiled at 5, talked to 8 and that makes 13! Tomorrow is "slave day". That means there will be an auction of slave-volunteers to "owners". There will be a banquet and dance that night. Vincent is a slave and I'd like to bid for him, but it would let everything out of the bag. Also, he might not want me to buy him. So sometime tomorrow I'm going to ask him about it. If he doesn't want me to, as least then I'll know for sure. Unknown4 2010-05-05T15:38:57.002-04:00 May 5, 1965 Wotta wonderful day! I smiled at I-don't-know-how-many boys, said "hello" to 5 and talked to Vincent for a couple of minutes! I'm reformed! I'm attractive to boys! I know the secret! If you smile, they smile, if you say hello, they do, too and if you talk to them and act interested they will be friendly, too! Isn't it wonderful? In all, I know I was friendly to 9 boys today. And tomorrow I'll be better! Maybe someday I'll break 20! I hope so! Unknown1 2010-05-04T11:40:40.940-04:00 May 4, 1965 I'm writing this at 8:00 AM. That's because that's when my day ended. Mom lied again and of course Dad believed her. I don't think he even bothered to listen to me when I used to try to defend myself. He'd just be brooding over Mom's lie.

Well I was sitting here writing and Dad came downstairs. I hoped he had a kind word - that he was kind of sorry or something. Silly, wasn't I? All he said was "Hey pigpen! Get that junk off your chair." I did. Unknown2 2010-05-03T12:26:02.999-04:00 May 3, 1965 Boy was it hot today! I'll bet it was in the 90's. Marcia and I went to a track meet. I took Dad's binoculars so I could see better. Marcia used them most of the time to watch some guy on the other team she liked. She found out his name was Jeff. He was a pretty good athlete.

I was watching Vincent. Big deal. He looks like a T-shirt doll stuffed with mothballs. Unknown1 2006-05-03T09:32:47.703-04:00 May 2, 1965 I rode my bike out today. First, I got a shake at Carvel. Then, I went to Karen's house. She and Gladys had left to go to Lover's Leap. When I was on my way there, a couple of guys in a convertible drove by. Oh, how cute! Blonde, tan, eeeeeeeeeee! Boy was I dirty and tired when I finally got home. I got a thorn in my foot. I hope it doesn't get infected. It's in so deep I can't get it out with tweezers. Well, I'll sign off now. G'night??? Unknown0 2010-05-01T09:44:01.971-04:00 May 1, 1965 Is it that I hate everyone or that everyone hates me? or both? I don't want to hate. But today I did my work and when Dad came home, Mom told him I'd work 5 minutes and rest 30. That's a lie, but he believed her. Everytime I talk to her about all that I have to do, she thinks it's some kind of contest. Of course she works more than I do. Her back hurts more than mine. I guess she thinks that because I don't constantly complain about it. What a bitter, hateful person I've become! I hate myself! Unknown1 2006-04-30T08:45:17.100-04:00 April 30, 1965 I had a boomerang I got last year and was fooling around with it in the field next to the HS and GUESS WHO WAS THERE!!! Yes -- V.S. After track and baseball pactice was over I went down to the BB field to throw my boomerang around . Well, V.S. was driving away and shouting something at me. I didn't hear it, I bet it was insulting. Unknown1 2010-04-28T13:08:17.709-04:00 April 28, 1965 Guess what is discus thrower + shot putter on our track team? VS? How clever can you get? He's a real mess. All the time he ignores me and prances around making a fool of himself. (He came in second to last.) What a waste, waist (pick either) he is! A real fink - do you hear me, VS? A real fink!! Unknown1 2010-04-27T11:13:47.723-04:00 April 27, 1965 More of the same. This is getting boring! Is there no escape (No!) Only 2 more days this week. Aaaaaah! Then I can relax.

To clear up Vincent once and for all: I love what I thought he was and I hate what he is.

Clear?
Clear!
Alright?
Alright! Unknown1 2010-04-26T10:22:16.289-04:00 April 26, 1965 Ach! We had 2 substitutes - in History, Mrs. Kennel (and she IS a dog!) and in Spanish, Miss (Tweetybird) Halpine. Oh all we did was have study halls in those two classes and biology and English. Urg!

I hate Vincent S. Intensely!

I HATE VINCENT!!!! Unknown1 2010-04-25T11:24:49.291-04:00 April 25, 1965 Not bad for the first day. We didn't do much in school. Mostly we started new chapters.
We went to Caldor and I still can't find Othello for English. I've only looked everywhere. Bob got another album - Beach Boys this time. It's cruddy, but if I told him I'd hurt his feelings. Unknown1 2010-04-24T09:04:01.781-04:00 April 24, 1965 Back to school tomorrow! That's all I need to ruin my vacation. I didn't go to church but I did my share of work. Freddie and the Dreamers were on Ed Sullivan tonight. What a bunch of nuts! Especially Freddie -- He's about 30 years old and a fools around like a clown!

(They sing nice, too.) Unknown1 2010-04-23T10:28:18.839-04:00 April 23, 1965 I went babysitting again at O'Rourkes. Daylight saving time has started. (It's really tomorrow) so it's 3:45 EDT and 2:45 EST. ANYWAY I got $5. Not bad. I read my book and worked on some puzzles. I watched Jackie Gleason, Gilligan, Secret Agent. Gunsmoke, News and Johnny Carson. There were no good movies so I just sat around. Unknown1 2006-04-22T17:15:54.036-04:00 April 22, 1965 Last day of vacation! I went to Caldor again, got 3 records (one for Bob, he'll pay me back) and a book about guerilla (?) warfare. The records I got were: the Seekers - "I'll never find another you" Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, you've got a lovely daughter" and (Bob's) Wayne Fontana and trhe Mindbenders - "Game of Love". O, by the way I saw Vincent yesterday as a track meet. Big deal!!!!! Who cares?


I do. Unknown1 2010-04-21T09:19:42.090-04:00 April 21, 1965 Babysitting again. This time at the O'Rourke's for 8 hours and $5. I watched TV alot. First I saw "Laramie" with Robert Fuller. It was a rerun (the show went off last year) but good. I don't know what happened, but I watched "Daniel Boone". What lousy acting!! I saw Robert Fuller again at 10.

Marty came over and we went to Karen's house. Paul (K's snotty cousin) and Chris (K's foster brother) were fighting over Gladys W. Unknown1 2006-04-20T09:19:11.160-04:00 April 20, 1965 Went babysitting at Bogie's tonight. They're the people next door. They have a 7 year old, a 10 year old and a 13 year old. The 13 year old, a boy, is alright, but the other two, Kay and "Potsie" are brats - nice brats, but brats. However, who's complaining? I got $1.50 and it's a nice family. Mr. Bogie had his face badly burned in the war and is very much disfigured. Unknown0 2010-04-19T08:47:59.726-04:00 April 19,1965 Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter

I went to Karen's house today again. This time, tho, her boyfriend, Clem, was there. He's a real doll, but also a real hood.

Everywhere we went I felt like a fifth wheel. Clem would be being affectionate with Karen and I'd be sitting around, doing not much. Well, one of these days I'm going to get me a boy!!

Mrs Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter Unknown1 2006-04-20T09:11:10.020-04:00 April 18,1965 I was a good girl today. I did what Mom told me to do. I went to Caldor with Bob, too. I had to get the play "Othello" for English and I couldn't find it. I got a book about tax swindlers and loopholes for my next book report. I wish I could buy one of those detective novels with the nude ladies on the cover. Crazy? Sex maniac? No, not quite - just curious. Kind of intriguing, you might say. Unknown1 2010-04-17T10:38:21.256-04:00 April 17, 1965 Happy Easter. It snowed! We got about 1/2" - just enough to make it look like winter again. I went to Karen's house. Her cousin Paul was there. He's a hood, but a lot of fun. Luckily (?) he think's I'm a creep because I wear baggy pants. Ho Ho - he should talk.
I saw "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte" with Bette Davis. It was scary and bloody, but good. I never could have seen it alone. Good night (?) Unknown0 2010-04-16T10:32:49.014-04:00 April 16, 1965 Happy Saturday! (What's so happy about it?)
I feel great today. (You ought to - you didn't do any work.)
I bought the cutest little madras hat for %1.49 at Grants. (Yeah - and it was supposed to be an Easter hat.)
I baked brownies and bread and colored the Easter eggs. (And sat on your chair all day.)

Well, now to bed. (Aren't you tired of going to bed all day?) Unknown1 2006-04-15T09:55:12.986-04:00 April 15, 1965 Today is tax day. It's also Good Friday. We didn't go to a service -- we just worked. I guess I might not have time for all that I'd planned. Mom planned a lot for me to do, too, and our plans don't match. Oh well, I'll do what I can. Unknown3 2006-04-14T06:32:31.250-04:00 April 14, 1965 School's out for 10 days - AND NOBODY'S GOING TO CRY! Oh, what am I going to do with all this TIME? Finish the dress I'm making, work on "Silas Marner", find a copy of Othello, get a book for a report, oh boy or boy.

YIPPEE

I love vacations!

To ____ with Vincent - he's a snob!! Unknown1 2006-04-13T08:24:53.796-04:00 April 13, 1965
Report cards today - Urg!! I got, well, here's a comparison: (posted above)

Average: 1st marking period 89 2/3, 2nd marking period 89, 3rd marking period 88 1/6

FINISH THE SEQUENCE

Ain't it awful.
You bet! Unknown1 2006-04-12T07:57:25.210-04:00 April 12,1965 I'm Telling You Now - Freddie and the Dreamers

Tuesday! Viet Nam is horrible! It's a horrible war and I wish we weren't in there.

By the way, yesterday I cut my own hair! It's the first time and it looks OK.

GOODBYE DEAR DIARY!! Unknown1 2006-04-11T08:01:37.813-04:00 April 11, 1965 The last week - ho ho ho!
Report cards Wednesday, too.
Why do I fool myself? Vincent doesn't like me, no one likes me - why, sometimes I don't even like myself.

What's wrong with this world? A girl has to be beautiful but dumb to get anywhere. And I don't chase boys - just boy. Unknown0 2006-04-10T09:11:13.733-04:00 April 10, 1965 What a Palm Sunday Service! I used to be a Lutheran - I used to believe that to be a Christian was a wonderful, joyful thing! But no!! Now I'm an Episcopalian and, when in Anglicanism, Bah! Today we had a Palm Sunday Service to end all - sad songs, processions - everything except undertakers and holy rollers. Poo Bah. Unknown1 2006-04-09T08:25:02.063-04:00 April 9, 1965 You'd think I'd learn. Well, silly me went to a dance and that dolt Vincent was there. Of course I didn't dance with him. I felt like crying, but I didn't - at least not until I got home. I love him for what he is, but I hate him for what he does. He must hate me an awful lot to tease the way he does. I wish I never noticed him. Or do I? Unknown1 2006-04-08T09:17:47.863-04:00 April 8, 1965 This afternoon the Student Council gave the movie "The List of Adrian Messenger". It was neat. Part of the cast were: Kirk Douglas, Frank Sinatra, Robert Mitchum, Burt Lancaster, Tony Curtis and one other actor I forget, but these 6 actors were disguised through most of the show. I picked out all except Frank Sinatra.

After the movie Marcia and I played tag in front of the school. It was silly, but fun. Unknown1 2006-04-07T08:23:46.166-04:00 April 7, 1965 We finished the gym tests today. I actually climbed up the ropes. I got up as far as we were supposed to, almost. We fooled around, mostly.

On the whole, it was a boring, uneventful day.

AND I REALLY COULDN'T CARE LESS!! Unknown1 2006-04-06T08:32:23.790-04:00 April 6, 1965
I'm Telling You Now - Freddie and the Dreamers

Another day racked up for history! Mr. Wharton checked notebooks and guess who's wasn't complete?

Ah, well, the other subjects weren't so bad.

I just don't seem to care right now. I guess I really need that vacation. I want to quit school sometimes, I want to give up. But I can't. Unknown2 2006-04-05T08:33:19.856-04:00 April 5, 1965 What a lousy day! We had a Geometry test and, well, it was a spot quiz (2 questions). I got a 0. I was in a lousy mood all day. I still can't seem to get out of it.

Mrs. Ostrander called up tonight. She said there's a camp weekend at Maria Pratt and we couldn't go to it before. But today there was an announcement that since there were no snow days, our vacation was being extended. Unknown2 2006-04-04T07:52:40.946-04:00 April 4, 1965 I sat at church for 2 hours today. Since it was confirmation Sunday, there were a lot of people there. There must have been 25 kids - most of them 3 or 4 years old. I had my hands full running around after them. What a cute bunch, though! They were shy but warmed up quickly. I had to keep telling one girl why her mommy wasn't there. I guess all she wanted was attention. Unknown1 2006-03-28T08:12:56.966-05:00 April 3, 1965 Last night I slept 13 hours in all. Today I dragged around and did nothing but watch television.

Marty's been accepted as an aide, too! We'll be together next summer. I'm so happy she's coming, too. I really wasn't too happy about it at first. I guess it's because I was a camper last year and I'd feel uncomfortable with the counselors I had last summer. Unknown0 2006-03-28T08:10:00.633-05:00 April 2, 1965 I feel sick today. It all started when, in Spanish class, we were discussing bullfights and how cows and pigs are slaughtered. Then I had gym and ran around alot. By lunch time I was feeling downright lousy. I threw up when I got home, so I couldn't go babysitting.

By the way - I've been accepted as an aide at Camp Maria Pratt this summer. Unknown0 2006-03-28T08:07:28.783-05:00 April 1, 1965 Happy April Fool's Day! We had absolutely nothing to do today.

I went bowling for the first time in a long time. I got a 114, 109, and 107. Yech! Stuart H was there. He goes to Canterbury School but was in my class in seventh grade. His parents leave him at home with his aunt while they go all over the world. I feel sorry for him. I'd hate to always be left behind. Unknown2 2010-03-30T12:01:30.638-04:00 March 31, 1965 From what I hear, the band was great. That's nice (Sob)

I took gym for the first time in weeks today and I think I overdid it. We had tests on forward roll, backward roll, and handstand. I got a 5, 4, and 4+ respectively. 5+ is the best you can get.

Mr. Wharton checked notebooks today and mine wasn't complete! Rats! He hinted that he'd check them again tomorrow. Unknown0 2006-03-28T08:01:19.926-05:00 March 30, 1965 I'm Telling You Now - Freddie and the Dreamers

Almost the end of March already! Tomorrow the Navy Band comes. Bob is going to play with them on the sousaphone! But he won't let me come and see him.

There's a new rule now - you can't get a library pass unless you might have some research to do. I've been going there every D period, because we have study in the chemistry lab. I can't study there. The desks are too small and I like to spread my books out. Unknown1 2006-03-28T07:57:03.463-05:00 March 29, 1965 Back to school, but this time, no rehearsal!! No show!! No nothing!! Ahhh! WHat a life.

Karen told me Vincent took some pictures of me. He's a photographer for the school paper but She says he took several. Looks promising.

We had a vocab quiz in Spanish and I got a 76. Marcia got 100, of course. Well, I've got to wash my stockings out. I hope I see Vince tomorrow!! Hope he looks for me!!! Unknown0 2006-03-28T07:52:58.900-05:00 March 28, 1965 I visited Karen Z. today. We went to Angelos' Pizza and Carol Cromwell. We had some soda, went and hung around at the bowling alley and went back and had pizza. I haven't gone there for 6 months, I guess. Back in August I went there and Angelo tried to kiss me. He's asked me for a date a couple of times, too, but my stars, he's only about 5'1". Unknown0 2006-03-27T12:40:52.953-05:00 March 27, 1965
I went shopping with Helen again. This time I got "Kola Kiss" - the new flavored lipstick. It's neat. It really matches my skin shade. I also got a scrapbook. The poor thing's so crowded new I can hardly shut it. Someday, though, it will be of great sentimental value to me and my family, just like this diary.

I hope Vincent likes me, but I'm almost sure that he doesn't. After all, I'm not a tall, willowly blonde. Unknown0 2006-03-26T21:13:22.613-05:00 March 26, 1965 Yippee!! It was a great show! What and audience. They loved everything. I only made a few mistakes. Everyone said Iw as good though. One thing spoilt it - I saw Vincent leaving - with a tall, willowy blonde - and I don't mean a boy! Ah, well, maybe it's his sister. (ha ha ha) I still like him a lot. He's a swell guy with a cute face - Wotta Man! Unknown2 2006-03-24T11:15:37.220-05:00 March 25, 1965 Our last rehearsal! They say that the worse the last one goes, the better the show. I hope it's true, because the rehearsal couldn't have been worse. Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes! I tripped and I cut my ankle and I missed my cue. I was in the music room and it took 3 minutes to find me. Boy, did I feel stupid!! Who told me, though?

Talent Show tomorrow! Unknown0 2006-03-24T08:07:15.046-05:00 Macrh 24, 1965 Back to the old drag!! Rehearsal tonight - dress rehearsal - until 10:30. Mike R, who plays the piano, quit. He was stuck up, but he was good! Charlie P, another pianist, is insisting that we use the grand because the upright "doesn't do him justice".

Yes I saw Vincent. He's nice. Unknown1 2006-03-23T08:59:40.050-05:00 March 23, 1965 Stop in the Name of Love - Supremes

No rehearsal today! I stayed home and watched T.V. and had a blast. Ahhhh. Next week I'll be able to watch "The Man from U.N.C.L.E again - at last.

I fund out I can't go to the Camp Weekend. It's during a school week. Rats! I was hoping I could show Bernie how good (?) I am at campcraft. Then again, maybe it's better that I don't go. Unknown1 2006-03-22T11:03:41.226-05:00 March 22, 1965
Bob's birthday - he's eighteen!!

Well, as I wrote above, today's Bob's eighteenth birthday. I didn't have any money for a present for today, but I've sent for a dictionary for him and I'm paying his way to the Talent Show.
Speaking of TALENT, I saw Vincent and he hurt his leg. He limps something awful. Everytime I see him my heart kind of pings. As they say, "My heart goes out to him". I do love him so much. Unknown2 2006-03-21T07:34:56.333-05:00 March 21, 1965 It was cold today but the snow melted quite a bit. Mom was pretty sick so I helped out. Maybe I did too much. I made lunch, baked two pies (chocolate and pumpkin) and did the breakfast, lunch and baking dishes. I also cut out my blouse for the talent show. It's going to be neat. It's white dacron and cotton and will have neck and sleeve ruffles with lace on the edges. I love it! I hope we have time to make it! Unknown0 2006-03-20T23:41:37.223-05:00 March 20, 1965 It's the first day of spring! (By the way, we had about 5 inches of snow today.) My back hurts like anything. I don't think I have a chance with Vince. I hear he's a very devout Catholic and so would never get involved with a Protestant. Pity! I'd better concentrate on something else besides him. Maybe next year a nice Episcopal boy will move here. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Meanwhile, I'm falling in love, I think. Unknown1 2006-03-19T07:59:16.780-05:00 March 19, 1965 Helen Y. says what I should do now is smile and say "hi" to Vince when I see him. Also, she wants he to go to a CYO dance sometime because he always goes to them.

The Shakespeare theater came today. They did two scenes from "Julius Caesar" and one from "Twelfth Night". I liked the latter better. It was funny! This group of 3 men and two women come once a year and are always good!! Can't wait 'til next year. Unknown1 2006-03-18T19:38:24.066-05:00 March 18, 1965 I talked to Vince again this afternoon - for almost 1/2 and hour! He's very nice. At least he's not a disappointment like most boys are. We have a lot in common - "disharmony" in the home, no more than 3 years in one school, our dislike for this hick town. Maybe it will work yet! Hojala que si! Tengo que acostarme ahora. Son las once y estoy muy cansada. Buenos noches. Unknown0 2006-03-17T06:35:52.080-05:00 March 17, 1965 There was a forum at Masuk High in Monroe tonight. It was fun, cause Terese and Suzanne went. Vinnie did not.I did meet a nice guy from Abbot Tech, though.

The forum was on the Negro Revolution. In our panel group, one guy kept calling Negroes "niggers". There were two colored boy, one colored girl plus the guest speaker also Negro, in the room. What a choke! Unknown1 2006-03-16T08:22:31.820-05:00 March 16, 1965
#1 - Stop in the Name of Love - Supremes

I went to rehearsal and guess who was there? Vinnie! He was there for a Chanticleer meeting. Of course I had my grubby old 10 cent army jacket on and a pair of cruddy old jeans.

We had a Biology test today and I'm lucky if I passed! It was on heredity.

I stopped by to see Mrs. Houson about Art Club. Hooboy! What a longwinded gal. Unknown1 2006-03-15T07:38:55.106-05:00 March 15, 1965 I hardly even saw Vince today.

It was student teacher day. Tim K. taught in Biology. Bernadette was in Geometry and Teddy B. in History (he was lousy!). In Spanish we had Doug P. (OK) and Betty C. (OK). Stewart M. taught in English . He isn't so bad. Rehearsal tonight, tomorrow and Thursday. Unknown0 2006-03-14T07:49:05.653-05:00 March 14, 1965 We had another fire today - Mr. O'Rourke started it. I went over and helped him.

I can't take gym for two or three weeks - make it two! I like gym.

Speaking of I like - I still like Vince and am going to try to be as attractive, physically and personally, as I can.

I have Mom and Dad's bed now - a double. Ah - a big bed - finally!!

Well, bye bye!
Vive Vincent! Unknown0 2006-03-13T08:57:33.653-05:00 March 13, 1965 When I woke up I couldn't move. I went to Dr. Estrada this afternoon. Well, that lousy human arch got me an acute lumbar strain - a few pulled ligaments.

Guess what I missed? Another grass fire! Once more Dad was out with a broom. Ot wasn't our fault this time though. It was a lot worse than our fire of last Sunday. I couldn't go to the Senior Planning Board meeting, either. Phooey. Unknown1 2006-03-12T08:37:25.343-05:00 March 12, 1965 V.S. showed up again at rehearsal this afternoon.

I was right! We did start tumbling in gym. I hurt my back, I think, doing a human arch. I sat at King's tonight and got $1.50. They want me to sit for them on March 31, too, when they go to see the Navy Band. I said I would, since i couldn't get tickets. Unknown0 2006-03-11T09:22:31.970-05:00 March 11, 1965 I got the highest mark in my class on my Geometry test - a 92. I had a 96, but Mr. Bucknam found another mistake. The next highest mark was 78 - Bernadette B. (She's the teacher on Geo. on student-faculty day.)

At rehearsal tonight guess who showed up? V.S.! He was taking pictures for the "Chanticleer", the school newspaper. He was there when I played the piano. I hope he was impressed. Unknown1 2006-03-10T07:12:10.796-05:00 March 10, 1965 I got an F on the test - that's not a flunking F, it's a C+ or B- equivalent. He didn't mark anything wrong, so I guess there was just something missing. We had a test on basketball in gym and them played one short game of basketball. I only made one violation - TRAVELING!! Of all things! I guess we start tumbling Friday, I guess. Unknown1 2006-03-09T06:26:43.373-05:00 March 9, 1965 Boy! Those test were both pretty hard - especially History. It was all essay - just one. The subject was "how nationalism and liberalism affected Italy, Austria and Prussa in the 19th century". What a mess! I flubbed it, I know!! VS keeps popping up where I don't want him. Maybe playing hard to get helps. eh! Unknown1 2006-03-08T11:13:25.786-05:00 March 8, 1965 We had the last two DAT's today - clerical and abstract. The abstract was something like this - ^^vv and you had to choose what came next in sequence, of course ^ again. The clerical was fun. I'm trying to forget VS. Now who the hay is VS? Hmmmm! Tomorrow we have two tests - Geometry and History. Unknown0 2006-03-07T20:40:03.576-05:00 March 7, 1965 We had a grass fire today. Our incinerator fell over and set fire to the field next to us. Dad yelled to me to call the fire department. I did and with a minute a volunteer fireman was here. The 3 of us had it almost out when the 2 fire trucks and 31 firemen came. We put it out with brooms. Wotta day! Unknown1 2006-03-06T08:53:10.973-05:00 March 6, 1965 Went sitting for O'Rourkes - until 2:30 AM. I got $4, but am I pooped! I went downtown with Helen and got some mascara and a bow (for my hair).
Vince is hard to forget. He pops up everywhere. Marcia teases me whenever she sees me trying to ignore him.
Well, I've got to go to bed. Goodnight! Unknown0 2006-03-05T11:40:00.930-05:00 March 5, 1965 Friday - fabulous Friday! Phys Ed and the last day of school in the week! Guess what!! Those rat-finks are having rehearsal Tomorrow - SATURDAY! Are they crazy? Hah!! I've got to go, though.
The DAT's today were computational and verbal reasoning. they were a lot of fun. That leaves the abstract and clerical for Monday.
By the way - I'm trying to give up Vincent. Unknown0 2006-03-04T00:43:15.496-05:00 March 4, 1965 Ah, Thursday! I love Thursday. I like it because

1)no History
2)get out 1 hr. early
3)This Thursday I have Differential Aptitude Tests.

I also have DAT's tomorrow and Monday. We had the spelling and sentence ones today - they were easy. Any jerk could do them in 10 minutes and we were allowed 20.

Rehearsal tonight. Everything is fine - except Bill West's puns. Unknown1 2006-03-03T15:01:04.350-05:00 Farewell to a Bitter Yesterday Entered in My Diary, March 3, 1965

Farewell to a Bitter Yesterday

As the sun bids farewell to the angry sky,
I remember the yesterday I cherished as a tomorrow.
A dream , which as a dream, was ecstasy,
But in coming to be meant only sorrow.
In my slumbers I loved and my world was
As only love can make it: bright and sweet.
But when tomorrow came I saw clearly
That only in my dreams was my love perfect and complete.
As the twilight sky fades to blackness,
So shall this bitter yesterday soon be gone,
And only a rosy afterglow and bittersweet taste
Shall remain; only a painful emptiness shall linger on.

Dedication:

To Vincent S., the dream of the golden tomorrow, and the cherished memory of a bitter yesterday.

Let this be proof of my love for a boy who has naught to proof. Unknown2 2006-03-03T14:30:18.576-05:00 March 3, 1965 It's nice to be able to stay home sometime. I watched T.V., took a nap, and (wonder of wonders) did my homework. The Rolling Stones (yech) were on "Shindig" but so were Jay and the Americas. They're pretty good. I like Jay, he's a good singer. But the Rolling Stones - Yech! What filth! "The Virginian" was fairly decent, but not that good. It gave me something to do, at least. Unknown3 2006-03-02T07:50:28.073-05:00 March 2, 1965

Diamond Ring by Gary Lewis and the Playboys
Wotta day! I went downtown after school for the Red Cross. I had to pass out posters. I didn't get home until 6 and at 7 I was off to rehearsal. They're more organized now - it's about time! Several groups have dropped out - no one important. I have a feeling Sally M., whom I am accompanying, will be dropped. She's good, but not good enough. It's really a shame. I like her. Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:46:41.640-05:00 March 1 No rehearsal tonight! Instead, I worked on my book report. The book I read is "The Nongraded High School". It was pretty good and I hope I get a good mark on the outline - 4 1/2 typewritten pages. If I don't, I'll die. At least I'm working with good materials.

Double Talk! Unknown2 2006-03-02T07:43:25.086-05:00 February 29, 1965 I almost wrote in for a day that wasn't - This isn't Leap Year Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:41:40.773-05:00 February28, 1965 It happened again! I wrote a "love note" to Vince and both Mom and Dad read it. So they tease me - and I hate it! I wish that no one knew again. Tomorrow it's back to school again and I hope I don't see Vince. He's so awful!! I like him, but I feel it's hopeless. I like him too much, I think. Maybe I should concentrate more on my study and less on Vince. Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:39:18.390-05:00 February 27, 1965 It wasn't tonight. Dad wouldn't let me go to the dance because I didn't have anyone to go with me. Maybe next time! Instead I went to the Millbrook-Rhinebeck game. Millbrook lost, but I really wasn't interested. Marty came, too.
I wish I had gone to the dance. I like Vince a lot. Someday - he'll be mine - I hope! Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:37:03.850-05:00 February 26, 1965 Went to "The Potting Shed" tonight. It was good. Bobby, one of my counselors, was there. Kathie P., a real hood, was in it, and she was pretty good.
Tomorrow afternoon I'm going after a pattern for Margaret Holmes. And tomorrow night - PERHAPS. I did a lot today. I did 1/2 the kitchen floor and 2 bathrooms, cleaned the kitchen fixtures and my room and read more of my book. See you tomorrow night - either in ecstacy or in tears. Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:33:42.450-05:00 February 25, 1965 I'm going to the C.Y.O. dance. Bob found out about Vincent - he read my letter to Cousin Brucie. He told Mom. He didn't tease me. At least he "approves" of Vince - he didn't like Rich. Then again, neither did I. He was just a boy who liked me. I do like Vince - I don't care who knows it. The rehearsal was lousy. Only 3 acts showed up. I got a sore throat, so I'll rest up. Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:30:35.370-05:00 February 24, 1965 Bob got his guitar yesterday and has been playing it all day. He's getting pretty good - so was I when he let me play it. I can do "Down in the Valley" and "Tom Dooley". Ann B. is home and I called her. We talked for about 15 minutes. She said she'd call back but she hasn't yet.
There's a C.Y.O. dance this Saturday night and Vince will be there. Do I dare try again? Well, I'll ask Marcia tomorrow at the rehearsal. Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:27:55.050-05:00 February 23, 1965 Marcia and Terese came over this afternoon for a "writing session" - Hah! We just danced, listened to the radio, and fooled around. Marcia can do the swim real neat. I just can't nod my head from side to side - or anything else.
WABC Radio is giving away Beatle records. All you have to do is write a letter - as many as you want. I wrote a one about Vince and my problems. It sounds stupid. Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:25:27.160-05:00 February 22, 1965 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GEORGE WASHINGTON
At Girl Scouts tonight Marcia told me she went to a C.Y.O. dance last night and guess who danced with her all night? Vincent. I envy her, but she said she doesn't like him like I do. No one could. If only he liked me! Oh, I want to be his girl more than anything in the world. He's even made me forget the Beatles.(Miracle of miracles.) Unknown0 2006-03-02T07:22:08.416-05:00 February 21, 1965 Today wasn't too bad. It just got bad, though. The T.V. broke!! Baw! The O'Rourkes won't be home until about eleven and it's about 9 now. Ahhh! I'm going to go crazy. Mom stopped over to talk to me this afternoon and just sent over a newspaper and some food. I'm going to record my poem in my diary. I'm not going to tell anyone in my family about it, either.
Malcolm X got killed today. It was horrible, from what I heard. Unknown1 2006-03-01T12:02:28.880-05:00 February 20, 1965 I'm babysitting at O'Rourke's - it's a two day job - I should get about $15 - I can get my guitar, that means! It was fun but tiring today -- I'm pooped! Tomorrow - yech - another day. (Boo Hoo!) Erin and Kathi are both pretty spoiled. Kathy cries when she doesn't get her way and Erin crioes whether she gets it or not.

I wrote a poem and dedicated it to Vince and my lost love. I think I'll send it to a magazine to be published. I do hope someone will buy it. It's called "Farewell to a Bitter Yesterday". Unknown0 2006-03-01T11:57:00.183-05:00 February 19, 1965 he don't

I dood it - I went to a dance - and wasted a quarter! He doesn't like me! (That's Vince, I mean!) He teased me - silently, of course! He danced with just about every girl in the room except me and then would come over near me - and get a drink of water! I'm so mad at myself! I met a fellow-sufferer - another girl who likes Vince. Oh, I just want to cry! I love him so much and I'd give just about anything to dance with him. Just to have his arms around me.
I LOVE HIM Unknown0 2006-03-01T11:53:00.923-05:00 February 18, 1965 Do he or don't he?

I finished my history report - Ahh! It's nice to be done. I sent to a rehearsal, too. It was neat. There was no confusion - it was organized - very neat. In other words, we got somewhere! Mr. Shuster likes the script. Hooray and HAlelujah. We had a test in Biology and I only got 4 wrong. That's a 92 at the most. Mr. Pelletier had told us it was hard, but it was very easy, very simple. (Fun for the feebleminded.) Unknown0 2006-03-01T11:49:50.683-05:00 February 17, 1965 I LOVE VINCENT - EVEN IF HE IS AN IDIOT!

At 9:30 Dad brought a friend of his home. His name is Bob something, he's single and about 26 years old. And cute and sweet and about 5'4". Shucks! Why are all the nice guys short? Why am I so tall? I hate being tall sometimes! I feel so awkward. Well it's 10:45 PM! I'd better get to sleep . I've got to look beautiful for Vince tomorrow! I wish he'd notice me and say something. Anything I say turns into a wisecrack or an insult!

RATS! RATS! RATS! Unknown0 2006-02-22T11:37:52.386-05:00 February 16, 1965 WABC #1 Come See About Me - Supremes

Well! Vince is playing in the Senior-Undies game! He'll be at the dance for sure - how I hope he'll dance with me - over and over again! I must be careful what I say - not to be too unfeminine or too timid. I wish I knew how to charm a boy. Who knows? Maybe I have! I'd better list the animals I have to make: Helen: 1 white rabbit, 1 dark brown dog. Terese: 1 orange and brown horse. Orange and brown?

YECH! Unknown0 2006-02-22T11:34:00.506-05:00 February 15, 1965 Rehearsal Tonight! I hated it! Claudia didn't get to sing, and neither did Sally. Terese kicked off her shoe and hit the ceiling. There's a big scrape in the hall acoustical tile now - about 5 feet from the dent I put in a month ago. Vince was absent today! Baw! I HATE THE TALENT SHOW! Unknown0 2006-02-22T11:31:20.466-05:00 February 14, 1965 Happy Valentine's Day! The Dave Clark Five were on EdSullivan tonight. My stars! What a bunch of dolls! I like Mike Smith and Lenny Whatsisname best. Back to shcool <-spelt wrong!->tomorrow. Joy of Joys. I want to see Vince tomorrow! I love him - I think! I really do! In fact, this Friday I'm going to the Senior-Underclass game -- and dance! Yep, I got up the nerve - not much, but a good amount! Now all I have to do is find out if he likes me. I wonder! Unknown0 2006-02-16T09:03:19.863-05:00 February 13, 1965 I went to the Library for stuff on Napoleon and Waterloo. I waited for 3 hours for Dad to come and pick me up. Three boys, about 9 or 10 years old, came up and shot at me with squirt guns. I finally caught one of 'em and slapped him around. Oh, how I itched to do that! I bought a 45 cent pattern for stuffed animals and some foam rubber stuffing. I already got 2 orders for a horse and a cat. I made myself a dog - his name is Pudgey Mutt. He's so cute. Unknown0 2006-02-16T08:59:46.750-05:00 February 12, 1965 Today is Lincoln's birthday and Mom's, too. Mom isn't going to California, she changed her mind. She got 3 letters today. Aunt Peg sounds like a nut and Aunt Dorothy is.
I talked to Vincent today at a girls' basketball game. That song "Secret Love" was written for me. I love him. It's a silly, school-girl love - it will never go anywhere. It's all just a beautiful pinky fuzzy dream -- like all the teenage romances in the world. Unknown0 2006-02-16T08:56:30.230-05:00 February 11, 1965 Mom let me cut my hair into front bangs tonight. I've been after her to let me since 8th grade. It looks neat! I'm so glad! It turns out that Ringo Starr got married, not Paul McCartney. He's 24 and Maureen Cox, the girl he married, is 18 years old. By the way, you unbelievers of the future, I happen to like the Beatles very much. Grandma had Rudolf Valentino, Mom had Nelson Eddy, Aunt Rosie had Frank Sinatra and I've got the Beatles! Unknown0 2006-02-16T08:52:23.840-05:00 February 10, 1965 We went to school an hour later because the roads were icy. I had to miss gym. Rats! We'll never get through the year at this pace! We have to go through everything very slowly for the freshmen and just between me and me, it's a horrible bore! Ah well, they're a lot of fun, even if they are uncoordinated, etc.

I LOVE VINCE! Unknown0 2006-02-16T08:52:56.440-05:00 February 9, 1965 #1 WABC: Downtown, Petulia Clark

Vince came to a basketball game - girls' - this afternoon. Bernie teased him a lot, and I guess you could say I did, too. I acted like a silly 5th grader - insulting a boy I really liked. And I really do! The more I know him the more I like him. Yet I still can't get up the nerve to carry on an intelligent conversation with him - maybe I can't. Unknown0 2006-02-08T13:03:32.063-05:00 February 8, 1965 I was no good today in school. I almost fell asleep in F period study. We didn't do anything, but tomorrow we have three tests - Biology, Geometry and History. Ugh! At Girl Scouts only 5 girls showed up. I told them about the Senior Planning Board Meeting. I got a letter from Patty. She sounds like a real hood, but I still like her. I hope I can see her next summer. I like Vince, too. I was reading parts of her letter to Bob and came to the part where she asked, "How's Vince?" I almost gave my love away. Unknown0 2006-02-07T08:01:25.033-05:00 February 7, 1965 We got home at 1 AM. Oh, boy did we have a blast, though! We saw the Cloisters Thay had this little knob of wood, about 3 inches in diameter, with little carvings in it. We went to a service at St. Thomas's, of Fiften Avenue. It was gorgeous church and a lovely service. We had to scamper through the rain to get to Toffenetti's, where I had steak for $2.99. Then another rainy walk to Radio City Music Hall and a great show. The Rockettes were neat. They were all dancing in perfect time. I'm pooped, to say the least. Blah! Unknown0 2006-02-07T07:46:27.233-05:00 February 6, 1965 I had nothing to do except my work all day. I'm bored stiff. I have nothing to sew! I figure this summer is I don't work at Camp Maria Pratt I can do sewing in my home for people around the here. It would have to be on a frist come, first served basis. I could make a few bucks for the bank. Tomorrow I go to New York city - whoopee! Now I'll really have something to write about in this puny diary. Unknown0 2006-02-05T15:36:10.740-05:00 February 5, 1965 I finished my yellow wool dress and wore it today - I'm wild about it! It turned out great! I got lots of compliments. It gets me embarrassed, though. I don't know what to say after I've said "thank you". In gym we played basketball - or started, at least. I sat for Kings tonight - $1.50 more. Unknown0 2006-02-05T15:39:50.616-05:00 February 4, 1965
I got my report card - it wasn't too bad! I still had an 85 average - honors. Here 'tis:

Biology - 87 (+0)
Geometry - 92 (+4)
History - 85 (-10)
Spanish - 90 (-4)
English - 90 (+8)
Phys. Ed. - A (+0)

Really, I went down two points, but I'll try to raise my average next time. Oh, it's always the same - next time, next time! Someday I'll be able to say "This time I went up". Improvement isn't any good unless it is permanent. Unknown1 2006-02-03T08:51:07.150-05:00 February 3, 1965 I had to stay again! Baw! I want to get my report card - I don't want to wait around! My exam marks were:
Biology -82
Geometry- 85
History - 84
Spanish - 95
English - 81
I thought I would do better than that in English and Geometry, On the whole, it was a disappointment. Tomorrow for sure I go back - yippee? I'm really glad, I guess. Unknown0 2006-02-02T09:06:43.793-05:00 February 2, 1965 Boy, was I sick today! My temperture was 102 so I had to stay home - but I wasn't alone! Terese stayed home, too! I slept alot and it wanything but fun. I missed alot of work, and still don't have my books home. We have an exposition to write in English and I don't even know what it is! Boo hoo! I have a sore throat and everybody's calling up and yakking for hours. I hope I get to go back tomorrow - Report Cards! Unknown1 2006-02-01T09:09:45.823-05:00 February 1, 1965
Terese stayed for supper tonight. We went across the track for the Soph. Tal. Show rehearsal and both of us must have great colds now - we had to walk back through the snow. It was called off! Ay-y-y-y-y! Oh, pain! I've got a cough. It's snowing now - I hope we have no school tomorrow. Poof - no school! Oh, well, it won't work! Bye! Bye! Unknown1 2006-02-01T09:01:04.850-05:00 January 31, 1965 I didn't do anything today. (except think about Vincent!) Unknown0 2006-02-03T08:52:17.340-05:00 January 30, 1965 Boy, am I pooped! I'm glad I didn't stay. We had to load 20 tons of newspapers. I ache all over! We also had elections. There were 3 of my program aides from camp - Jinx, Moby and Sneezie. Sneezie is alot nicer than she was at camp. Poor Bob had to wait 4 1/2 hours for me. He wasn't too mad. He should have been. Unknown1 2006-01-29T15:34:29.246-05:00 January 29, 1965 I didn't go to the P.J. party. Peggy B. notified me at the last minute of a Senior Planning Board meeting. I'd really rather have gone to the party, and I fussed and fumed for an hour, but I couldn't go. I did stay until 11 o'clock and then came home. It was crowded, but fun. We told dirty jokes, ate candy and listened to records. I met Diana Y. She's nice. Vincent lives two houses away. Unknown1 2006-01-28T19:18:49.420-05:00 January 28, 1965 No school at all today! Whoopee! Back to school tomorrow, though. I just sat around all day. I better get going - I go to a P.J. party tomorrow night. I just sat and sat all day. Ahh! Beautiful! Well, keeping in line with my previous performance, I'm going to cut it short. Unknown1 2006-01-27T08:01:52.130-05:00 January 27, 1965
Spanish I finished in 55 minutes. It was a real dud. I got an A- on that easily. I took along a book called "Un Pueblo Mexicano" to read when I finished. It turned out to be written in Spanish - with alot of the vocab. from our test in it. I didn't cheat, though. It sure felt nice to get home early for a change. Ah! Mid-years are over. Unknown1 2006-01-26T22:03:04.843-05:00 January 26, 1965 Biology was miserable - I don't think I did very well. Geometry was better, but very uncomfortable. It was in the cafeteria - yech! I am so stiff from those hard seats...
I haven't seen Vincent yet. I want to - I like him! Tomorrow is my last test - Spanish. It won't be bad. I get all Thursday off. Yippeeeeeeeeee! The next time we get of is Feb. 19, I think. Unknown0 2006-01-25T08:57:28.203-05:00 January 25, 1965 I did fine - I think, on the mid-years in English and not as good in History. The extra credit question in English we had five words to unscramble. 3 I got - grammar, Shakespeare and conspirators. The other two were tributes and tributaries. For "tribunes" I put done "rinse tub". It fit. I hope I get credit for it. We watched a special about ghosts and I am scared stiff. They showed one film of what they said was a ghost. I guess it was. Unknown1 2006-01-24T16:15:37.486-05:00 January 24, 1965 No church today - we got 10 to 11 inches of snow, with sleet on top. The Woodens stopped in for punch and cookies after they helped us clear after they helped us clear our walk. I've decided to sew a dress for Margaret or Kathy. I'd love to sew for younger children. I studied History until 12:00 - which it is now, so, if you will not mind, I'll retire. Unknown1 2006-01-24T16:09:54.970-05:00 January 23, 1965
I sat for the O'Rourke's until 1 AM, recieved $2.50. I called Helen and we walked for 1 1/2 hours. I get so lonely during babysitting. I got out my history book, but was so drowsy I could hardly keep my eyes open. I did go tobogganing this afternoon. We got a surprise blizzard - 12-16 inches, plus sleet! If we miss school Monday, we'll have to make up the exams and I'll flunk my Geometry and Biology exams - I didn't bring my books home. Unknown0 2006-02-05T15:38:03.916-05:00 January 22, 1965 Marks closed today. I feel so helpless. I know I've gone down in history - way down. The marking period went so fast. I brought home my English and History books, I go tobogganing with Marcia tomorrow, but the snow is all melted. It might flurry tonight, but a lot of help that is. We lost another ball game - 80-30! What a lousy team! Coach King doesn't care, though. Unknown0 2006-01-22T20:14:45.246-05:00 January 21, 1965 Today in study hall (F) I went up to get a drink of water. When I got back, Marcia passed me a note that says, "When you bent over, your dress went up in the back and Mr. Burns was looking at your legs. Tra-la, tra-la." she later said he was half-smiling, when when he saw her looking at him, he blushed. I wonder - oh, not a chance. He's 21 or 22 - 6 or 7 years older than me. But I can dream - which I will. Unknown1 2006-01-20T08:11:37.046-05:00 January 20, 1965 Happy Inauguration Day, Lyndon Johnson! I don't think he was the best man, but he was the better man. Scranton and Romney are good, too. I'll be looking for them in 1968. Gee, I'll be 19 then! I can vote in the 1972 elections. I wonder who will be running then? Ted or Robert Kennedy? Someone new, or an old man? Whoever is running, I will vote for him who best satisfies my needs in a President. Unknown0 2006-01-19T11:25:19.136-05:00 January 19, 1965 #1 song on WABC: I Feel Fine (Beatles)

I didn't go to Wykeham Rise today - I couldn't. I probably won't go anymore. No transportation. I wish in a way I could go on, but unfortunately no luck. No Vinnie, either. I like him. I wonder what he thinks about me! Probably not much. I wish I had a chance to talk with him and really get to know him.

SIGH!

Love's Labours Lost Unknown0 2006-01-19T11:22:11.686-05:00 January 18, 1965 Today's the last day for my library book I lost. I'll never find it. It's very boring in school now - all we do is review for Mid-Years. I went to the library F period and goofed off for a while. I didn't see Vin today. I usually do. Rats! I got an A- on my project in English. I expected a B-. Who's going to complain, though. The latest poop is that this is Mr. Van De Water's last week here - aw! I will miss Mr. Burns, though. He's cute. Unknown1 2006-01-19T11:19:05.400-05:00 January 17, 1965 After church I had to sell calendars for $1 on the church steps. One lady wanted to buy one, but couldn't. Another finally found her money, so I only sold one. We didn't get to go ice skating, even though it is zero now (10:00 PM) and we had a blizzard yesterday. The ice is too rough. I hope they call school but they won't, I know. I remember last year a blizzard, almost 2 feet of school and Dr. Rudner makes us go to school. Unknown0 2006-01-16T11:36:27.843-05:00 January 16, 1965 I got my hair cut today. It looks like this: (drawing to come) This is when it isn't set. I called up Bernadette and told her how I'd like it changed - the theme, not my hair. We would have Old West half and new West half. It will be easier, then, to introduce the combos. I babysat for the O'Rourke's and got $3. At 8:30 I called Helen and we talked until 11:00. Unknown0 2006-01-15T08:44:08.526-05:00 January 15, 1965 I didn't suggest "My Favorite Things". I suggested "Happiness Is..." We voted and the theme is "Golden West". The emcee will be a bartender in the first half and a phony sheriff in the second half. The theme idea was Bernie's but the split was mine.

We saw "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" tonight!! Boy, was it funny! Everyone who was ever funny was in it. It had the kind of stuff in it that if the movie was a drama, people would have their hearts in their throats and theit eyes covered. Violence and idiocy reigned supreme. Unknown1 2006-01-14T11:49:31.076-05:00 January 14, 1965 I went to Wykeham and I guess I'll stay - at least give it a chance. I went to the talent show rehearsal but Suzanne wasn't there so we couldn't sing. I started singing crazy songs while waiting for Terese's father and before I knew it, everyone was listening. Peggy Boyd fell and I think she borke her arm. Vince was there, but he didn't do anything. He left before I made a fool of myself. I thought of a GREAT theme for the show - My Favorite Things. The chorus could dance to the theme song. I'll tell Dorrie tomorrow. Unknown1 2006-01-13T07:30:56.993-05:00 January 13, 1965 I don't want to go to Wykeham Rise tomorrow. I hate it and feel embarrassed going there. I want to sing in the Talent Show but I don't know what to sing. I'll be doing the "Merry Minuet" with Terese, Suzanne, Marcia and Helen.

I talked to Vincent again! I wonder if I should go to a dance and see if he'll dance with me. I said that last night! I'm going to a 'jama party on the 29th at Kathy C.'s house. It's snowing now and maybe I won't go to Wykeham Rise. I wish I had an excuse not to go anymore. But I don't. Unknown1 2006-01-12T00:35:23.983-05:00 January 12, 1965 Vincent spoke to me again! I'm up in the air! I think he likes me. I hope so. I should go to a dance he goes to and see if he asks me to dance.

I went to Wykeham Rise this afternoon and - oops, i just realized today is the 12th, not the 14th. Well, for January 14, it's under the 12th! Hoo Boy! It's 10:30 now. I hope I have a good dream with a happy ending - and a true one - about the Beatles or Vincent!!

I LIKE HIM!! Unknown1 2006-01-11T11:32:45.426-05:00 January 11, 1965
Wotta day! I'm drunk with power! At Girl Scouts everyone listened to me and went for my ideas. In Spanish I got 100 on a test. I don't know if I want to go to Wykeham Rise or not. I feel so out of place there. I hate playing the piano in front of that jerk of a teacher Mr. Nowak. Speaking of jerks, we still have Mr. VanderWater. If he doesn't leave soon, I'll flunk the midterm, which is only two weeks away. Unknown1 2006-01-10T06:35:23.113-05:00 January 10, 1965 It's snowing like anything! I hope school's closed tomorrow. It probably won't be, though. At times I think we have an Eskimo for a superintendent of schools. Last year during a blizzard we were the only school opened in Connecticut. I finished Dad's vest. Boy, am I proud of it. I was supposed to go to a pizza party for Young People's Fellowship, but I couldn't - no transportation. Next week we are going skating, I hope. It might not freeze then. It sure is cold now, though. Unknown1 2006-01-09T09:52:42.180-05:00 January 9, 1965
I worked on Dad's vest today and it's almost finished. He's a lot more grateful about it than Bob is about his.I want to meet the Beatles! And not just for a few minutes - for life. To be their friend and have them come visit me when they come here, especially George. But Vincent is more in my reach. I like him. He's so smart and cute. Boy! What a doll!I want so much to meet him, but I can't even get up the nerve to say "Hello". But I smile - at his back. Unknown1 2006-01-08T09:16:11.036-05:00 January 8, 1965 Ho Hum! We saw "Lili" tonight it's an old movie - 1953, but it's good. It was awfully short, though. When I got home I was awfully cranky -somehow it felt good. I want to be an actress someday and revive movies like "Lili" - no deep psychological motive, just a boy meets girl plot and some catchy music. A happy movie. Movies nowadays are too complicated. They have to mean something. Bah! Unknown2 2006-01-07T01:49:24.683-05:00 January 7, 1965
I'll bet I flunked or almost flunked my Spanish test. I didn't study and I know it. Also, I was pressed for time. I'm always the last one done. We had a Geometry quiz and I did very well, I think. It's about time!

I didn't have music! Yippee. A reprieve! We went shopping instead. I got a dress pattern and some cool material, too. I also got "Willow Weep for Me". Bob got "I Feel Fine". He can have it. b/w "She's a Woman". Unknown1 2006-01-06T11:24:14.213-05:00 January 6, 1965 This afternoon I went in to see Mr. W. about my book report outline and Vincent was there! I like him! He's so smart and cute and so tall and -- um, um! I like him!

I had 3 tests today: History (BAD), English (GOOD) and Biology (BAD). I've got to start paying attention!

Ah! Vince talked to me! I hope he likes me! If I only knew how to be popular like other girls. I WISH I DID! Unknown1 2006-01-06T11:17:15.750-05:00 I wish I had a 1964 nickel for every exclamatio... I wish I had a 1964 nickel for every exclamation point in my diary. I'd be rich today.

Mr. W. was a much-feared teacher, a sarcastic wit who could be brilliant and flattering but then put you down in front of the whole class for the sake of a laugh. I heard that he later found another line of work. Good move.

I have googled Vincent recently and he's a physician doing cell research, specializing in leukemia. When I noticed him he was a transfer student from a prep school.(Rumor had it he had been kicked out, which gave him an especially attractive badboy image.)

It makes me cringe to think how desperate I was for love and acceptance. So much of my high school years were spent on the social margins. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-07T01:41:07.680-05:00 The music class I was so happy to escape was an... The music class I was so happy to escape was an enrichment course at a local private school, Wykeham Rise. It was some sort of arts outreach program for the local riff-raff, and my older brother and I both went there once a week after school. Bob was taking drama and I was one of two students taking music. By January, I was getting tired of the weekly performance stress -- having to play piano or recorder in front of my teacher. The drive to and from WR with Bob, on the other hand, was hilarious, as he entertained me with caustic imitations of our teachers.

"Willow, Weep for Me" was a cover of an old ballad by a British pop duo, Chad and Jeremy. I was much taken with them -- especially Chad Stuart, the one with the glasses. Clearly, I was less fond of the Beatles' latest, especially Ringo's utterly boring "She's a Woman". The only thing interesting about Ringo was his uncanny resemblance to my elementary school friend Patti. Poor thing. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-08T09:52:37.633-05:00 An evening I remember well. Pity that each page... An evening I remember well. Pity that each page in my diary was only 4 1/2 inches long, with 20 lines per day. I could fit 3-5 words per line, so about 100 words a day. My LiveJournal entry would have been much longer.

My father, mother and I saw the movie over in Milbrook, New York, at some artsy theatre that specialized in old films. "Lili" was, indeed, short -- 81 minutes. It won the Oscar that year for best picture, and featured Leslie Caron ("an American in Paris", "Daddy Long Legs" "Gigi") in a sweet little love triangle with Jean-Pierre Aumont and Mel Ferrer.

A viewer in IMBb comments, "I do remember being entranced and a bit haunted by the movie Lili. I was easily able to relate to Lili's encounter with the puppets that became her confidants and friends when the adult world became too hard to handle." In fact, Lili adores the magician (Aumont) but he is distant and unavailable, as well as charming. Ferrer plays the crippled carnival owner/puppeteer who loves Lili but can only speak to her through his puppets.

So after seeing this beautiful little movie, and singing the title song all the way home in the back seat of our Chevy, feeling happily enchanted, I walked into the kitchen and KICKED THE TRASH CAN ACROSS THE ROOM. My parents were shocked; I was mortified. I picked up the trash and went to my room and wrote in my diary.

It's hard to say where I got the comment about movies being too complicated. In the previous year, I had seen "Dr. Strangelove", "Mary Poppins", "My Fair Lady", "Becket", "The Chalk Garden", "Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte", "Hard Day's Night" and "Goldfinger". It strikes me know that I was just changing the subject away from the uncomfortable message in "Lili"'s sweet little love story -- that sometimes happiness means losing the charming magician and falling for the crippled puppeteer.
Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-08T10:22:56.800-05:00 Oops, a correction. "Lili" won the Oscar for be... Oops, a correction. "Lili" won the Oscar for best musical score. It received nominations for Best Actress in a Leading Role, Best Art Direction, Best Cinematography, Best Director, and Best Writing, Screenplay. My favorite award for the film: a special mention at Cannes "For the charming acting". c'est vrai.

More about "Lili" can be found on Wikipedia (of course). Among other factoids, it mentions that publicity for the film included the first known use of emoticons: a smiley, an frowny and a heart. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-09T10:25:56.206-05:00 Was I ever that naive? Here's proof. I stopped ... Was I ever that naive? Here's proof. I stopped believing in Santa when I was seven (reluctantly -- my mother told me the truth because she decided I was old enough). But at 15-nearly-16 I could daydream that somehow, someday, I would meet the Beatles. Not only would I meet them, but they would instantly recognize the coolness that had escaped the notice of my entire high school.

The experts say that teenager's celebrity crushes are an important bridge between romantic fantasies and real relationships. At the emotional level, there was little difference between my longing for George and my longing for Vincent, except for the daily agony of passing Vincent in the hall.

Ah, the vests! I made vests for Christmas for my father and brother. Actually, I bought the pattern and fabric and wrapped those up for Christmas, and worked on them during January. Bob's was a double-breasted dark blue wool; I think it reversed to tan corduroy, but memory is hazy. (And there's no point in asking Bob; he's further gone than I am!) Dad's was a red plaid single-breasted style -- I even fitted it on him, matched the plaids and did welt pockets. Sewing was one of the few things I did with absolute confidence, and usually did well. There was something absolutely magical about taking a flat piece of fabric and transforming it into a three-dimensional object. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-10T10:13:22.913-05:00 YPF! That was the youth group at my church, YPF! That was the youth group at my church, St. John's Episcopal. Or as the page title says "Espicopal". It was lots of fun; we had a cool young curate, Father Crews, who planned the activities and hardly ever talked about religion. It was at a YPF meeting at Father Crew's tiny apartment I saw the Beatles' first appearance on Ed Sullivan. I discovered on the internet that he recently retired as rector of the nearby Marbledale church.

Here is the mystery: by the time I graduated from high school, my family was no longer attending St. John's. Instead, we went to the local Lutheran Church, which had a three-person youth group and a very uncool minister. I imagine Mom made the decision, as she was pretty much the religious arbiter of the family. I do recall some sharp comments she made later about other of the other ministers at St. John's, who blamed her chronic illness for dad's drinking and their marital troubles. Ah, the good old pre-women's liberation days; another reason I have little use for nostalgia.

At any rate, I do not remember being consulted about the change of churches, nor caring about it. My mother would probably not appreciate knowing that her decision to "go Lutheran" helped accelerate my eventual crisis of faith. The second tenant of the Lutheran faith is justification by faith, or the belief that "salvation is through faith alone -- we only need to believe that our sins are forgiven for Christ's sake, who died to redeem us". The Episcopal church leaves room for doubt and encourages questioning; Lutherans view doubt as evidence of Satanic temptation. At least, that's how I interpreted the difference.

The reference to ice skating evokes pleasant memories. We skated on ponds, not at ice rinks. There was something about the nighttime pond-skating experience, with its mixture of danger, discomfort and romance, that was very dear to my teenaged soul. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-11T14:05:54.703-05:00 Mr. Nowak was not a jerk. He was a pleasant, rathe... Mr. Nowak was not a jerk. He was a pleasant, rather shy music teacher at a small, private boarding school for girls. In the fall of 1964, his headmaster handed him two "townies" with minimal musical training for an enrichment experience. I was a mostly self-taught pianist with performance anxiety; my fellow student, Robert (not my brother) was a garage band drummer who could not read music at all. Mr. Nowak's solution was to give me private piano lessons and to teach us both a bit of music theory via a small group recorder class. The original idea was that some of the Wykeham Rise students would join the recorder ensemble, but no one signed up.

So on alternate Wykeham Rise days I would either spend play piano for Mr. Nowak and feel like an idiot, or sit and listen to Robert struggle with the basics of music notation on a wind instrument. How did Mr. Nowak survive the experience? Did he hasten back to his faculty quarters and have a stiff drink? He should have. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-12T09:26:28.846-05:00 Hoo Boy, indeed.

And where did that exp... Hoo Boy, indeed.

And where did that expression come from, you might ask. A sharp-eyed (and well-read) reader would probably pick up on this and the many other Pogo-isms that are scattered through this diary. Before my own children learned to carry on entire conversations with dialog from the Simpsons, LA Story and Family Guy, my family spoke in fluent Pogo-ese. Actually, my dad, brother and I did; Mom, I guess, was not a fan.

So, Hoo boy! Hot Dawg! Hoo Haw! But don't fawn over it.

Is this Pogo business is a mystery, the official site might help. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-13T07:49:04.423-05:00 Less than two weeks into this transcription and... Less than two weeks into this transcription and already I am wondering how I ever scraped up the nerve to leave home for college. The fear and insecurity in nearly every post is palpable.

Speaking to anyone I did not know well was excruciatingly difficult. I usually said something awkward and unfunny and then berate myself afterwards for being a fool. When I say I spoke to Vincent, it means I said "hi" when we passed in the hall, not that he and I had an actual conversation.

I practiced each new piano and recorder piece for hours between lessons and then be so nervous I could barely play it for my teacher.

I now realize that I never told my parents about how much I hated it. It was a "great opportunity" for a lowly townie from a modest home, and I assumed they would have insisted I continue. But we never discussed it one way or another, and so I just kept going. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-19T11:34:24.573-05:00 At my small rural high school, each class had a... At my small rural high school, each class had a designated fund-raising event. The Freshman Social (a dance), Sophomore Talent Show, Junior Prom and Senior Play were attended by the entire school, but planned and run by a committee from a single class. I worked on the first two, but pretty much dropped out of the active "in crowd" by junior year.

My secret ambition was to sing at the talent show, which I finally did the next year. In 1965, I was on the planning committee, helped write the script, and accompanied two singers on the piano. A group of us were supposed to sing "Merry Minuet", a little anti-nuke ditty recorded by the Kingston Trio, but I think one by one girls dropped out until the group was gone.

Merry Minuet lyrics Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-19T11:42:43.616-05:00 Yes, I named my dog after Bernadette. I liked h... Yes, I named my dog after Bernadette. I liked her and I liked the dog, so it wasn't some kind of snarky insult. Bernie (the person) had a long face and expressive eyes, would do slightly stupid things and then feel really, really sorry. Her apologies were always prompt and sincere, often beyond the scale of the offense. She signed her name next to my picture in our yearbook and probably still feels bad about it.

If you knew Bernie (the dog) you would see the similarity.

See Bernie (the dog). Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-22T20:18:48.126-05:00 Mr. Burns, like Mr. Van der Water, was a student t... Mr. Burns, like Mr. Van der Water, was a student teacher from the teacher's college in Danbury. Unlike Mr. VdW, he was very, very cute. Short blonde hair amd hornrimmed glasses. It dawns on me that at fifteen I was capable of having crushes on just about anyone. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-23T06:42:04.380-05:00 We were on some kind of staggered schedule wher... We were on some kind of staggered schedule where A period was first on Monday, second on Tuesday, etc. Each day comprised five periods and lunch. Our five academic classes each met four days a week, but gym was twice a week. So the periods were A-F, with one period dropped each day. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-24T16:24:05.360-05:00 I have no idea who the Woodens were. That chunk... I have no idea who the Woodens were. That chunk of memory has completely vanished. I do recall being hired to do some sewing for various neighbors. It didn't pay particularly well, though it was fun. Babysitting was my main source of income, since we lived about a mile from town and relied on one car, which my father drove to and from work. Most of my babysitting income was used to buy fabric, 45 RPMs and Christmas presents. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-25T09:08:07.056-05:00 For most of my childhood, I was terrified of th... For most of my childhood, I was terrified of the supernatural and anything to do with death. When I was four, my family drove to California from Nebraska to visit my grandparents. We stopped to tour a ghost town somewhere in Nevada, and I had to be dragged out of the car. In California, we saw a Martin & Lewis movie called "Scared Stiff" and "Jack and the Beanstalk" with Abbot and Costello, both of which gave me nightmares. Our drive home took us past some robber baron's castle, which reminded me of the giant's castle in "Jack and the Beanstalk". I not only refused to get out of the car, but huddled on the floor in the backseat while my family looked at the castle. By the time they came back to the car, I was in tears, convinced they had been eaten by a giant. Small wonder that at 15 I was still fearful of TV ghosts (not to mention the skeleton hanging next to me in Biology class).

And to think they teach four-year-olds about the Rapture. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-27T08:01:02.740-05:00 How typical. I use to grab something to read as... How typical. I use to grab something to read as I left the house, not thinking over the choice at all. This was evidently one of my dad's books from the time he was a high school Spanish teacher.

Every house we ever lived in either had built-in bookcases when we moved in, or had them by the time we left. As a printer's son and grandson, and an editor/printer himself, he loved to read and own books. By the 1960s, they filled one entire wall in our living room. As a teenager living in a rural subdivision with no personal transportation, I pretty much read my way through most of them. Frankly, most were mediocre, though he also owned some classics that became favorites, such as his complete collection of Sherlock Holmes, the Bounty trilogy and the Rockwell-illustrated Tom Sawyer (illustration in original post).

And no, I really didn't cheat on the test. By high school, my cheating days were long past, though still a dark source of secret shame. In fifth grade, I use to wait until everyone else went to lunch and then find my spelling test on the teacher's desk and correct any words I got wrong. Never got caught. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-28T19:22:58.316-05:00 The loveliest part about exam week was that it ... The loveliest part about exam week was that it you had no exams, you could stay home. Staying home meant a day of watching game shows and cartoons on TV, which is probably what I did. I do believe I have lost my capacity for that kind of leisure, unless I am just bone tired. It strikes me that it would be a good thing to practice, before I find myself in a nursing home bored out of my skull. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-01-29T15:41:53.346-05:00 Gee, I wonder why I was so eager to go to Kathy... Gee, I wonder why I was so eager to go to Kathy's pajama party! Actually, pajama parties were a great source of all-girl fun in the 1960s. This was long before "sleepovers parties" became elementary school fare, of course. We'd sit around in our best sleepwear, eat junk food and entertain ourselves with the most amazing array of titilating teenaged fun: prank phone calls to cute boys, dirty jokes and off course, gossip about girls who weren't there. Amateur makeovers (hair and make-up) were also popular amusements.

Having to miss all that (two houses away from Vincent, who might have stopped in to borrow a cup of flour) for a Saturday morning regional Girl Scout meeting of unknown purpose was clearly a giant bummer. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-02-01T09:16:08.706-05:00 Since we lived in the largest town (in area) in... Since we lived in the largest town (in area) in Connecticut, most of the students at my school rode buses to school. The dozen or so of us who lived next to the school in Sunny Valley Estates (no kidding, that was the real name) were the only walkers. Unfortunately, the only route to the school was through a break in the fence on Sherwood Drive and across the track. When it rained, it was soggy, and when it snowed no one shoveled it. Who shovels a track?

The aerial photo, from the 1965 yearbook, shows my house -- 23 Sherwood Drive -- in the upper right, with the open garage door. The closest entrance to the school was the side door right under the tall smokestack in the lower left. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-02-02T09:13:26.256-05:00 Staying home sick was a real challenge in our h... Staying home sick was a real challenge in our household. Mom was a nurse and impossible to con with fake coughs, thermometers held over the stove and other clever ploys. When I was little, staying home meant opening up the green Castro convertible couch and watching game shows, old movies and cartoons all day. By 1965, the green couch was long gone, and the only place for an invalid to sack out was in bed. Being home with no access to school books was evidently NOT GOOD; making up work was never any fun. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-02-05T15:46:07.230-05:00 Ah, yes, camp names! It was a Girl Scout tradit... Ah, yes, camp names! It was a Girl Scout tradition for campus staff to have nicknames, usually keeping their real names secret from the campers. I was pretty upset when my daughter went to camp in the 1980s and EVERYONE had a camp name!

Evidently the Senior Planning Board meeting involved more than I has bargained for -- namely loading newspapers into a truck trailer for recycling. So instead if a morning meeting, it was an all-day production. Oddly enough, I still have fond memories of that day, and the chance to see the camp aides again. (Aides were only a little older than the oldest campers, so they were both peers and role models, usually truly cool people.) Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-02-05T15:53:19.003-05:00 It would be nice to say that I eventually manag... It would be nice to say that I eventually managed to become a better student, but in fact I was second-tier my entire student career. I graduated from high school with a B+/A- average, from college with a 3.2 and didn't have a 4.0 even one semester in grad school. (Nor did I ever do my best, which kind of explains it.)

I can't blame being busy, because I was involved in hardly any extracurricular activities and never had a regular part-time job, or even an active social life. I spent my time playing the piano, reading, sewing and watching TV and did all my homework in study hall. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-02T10:39:57.623-05:00 OMG, I was such a dork, even then. What other 15-y... OMG, I was such a dork, even then. What other 15-year-old reads B. Frank Brown's "The Nongraded High School for a book report? I picked it up, think it was about high schools that didn't give grades, and discovered it was about the idea of open high schools that did not separate students into grades by age. (Sort of a precursor to the whole open classroom experiments of the 1970s.) It was originally published in 1963, and I believe I bought a paperback copy at Caldor.

For the life of me, I can't imagine how I managed to read it, much less write a coherent book report about a volume about school policy reform written by an Ed.D. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-02T10:54:36.280-05:00 A review of the book ---

In its heyday s... A review of the book ---

In its heyday several years ago, the Melbourne (Florida) High School became the most prominent model of the nongraded secondary school in the U.S. Its architect was the principal, B. Frank Brown. Ten of 11 chapters in Brown's book, The Nongraded High School,1 deal with the historical basis, the rationale, and the operational aspects of the conceptualized model. It is exciting to read, and it attracted countless numbers of the curious and the faithful to visit the school. In the eleventh and final chapter, Brown instructs the educator on how to sell a nongraded secondary program to his community. It is quite clear that he is not describing how he sold the program to his community (if indeed he did), but how others should do the job. This type of reporting not only lacks credibility, it comes off in the final analysis as pure educational opportunism.

The book is not only interesting for what it contains but even more for what it does not contain. Nowhere is the word "evaluation" to be found. Once must conclude that Brown regarded his program as so patently good that it was unnecessary to verify any of the results..

Gee, I didn't notice... Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-03T14:46:23.530-05:00 By now, it should be evident that my main criteria... By now, it should be evident that my main criteria for judging bands was the number of attractive guys in them. Jay and the Americans 1, Rolling Stones 0. Also Jay Traynor had an awesome voice (Cara Mia) and Mick Jagger did not. Finally, Jay and the Americans were clean cut and prom-night sexy. The Stones were -- the Stones. At fifteen I was not ready for real rock 'n roll. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-03T14:55:48.940-05:00 Yes, it's painfully flowery and romantic. Yes, the... Yes, it's painfully flowery and romantic. Yes, the meter is tortured. Yes it is wordy as hell. But it has more authentic lovesick teen angst than McCartney's "Yesterday", and I beat his 1966 U.S. release by a year and a half, so you can't say it's derivative.

On the other hand, it sure as hell is embarrassing 41 years later. The shame of adolescence never really dies. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-03T19:58:55.643-05:00 Amazing! There is a Shindig website with complete ... Amazing! There is a Shindig website with complete listings for each episode.

Here's the one I watched that night. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-03T20:05:29.356-05:00 Omigod, and here is the episode of the Virginian.

Evidently I was over my huge crush on Clu Gulager, who was a regular on the show put didn't merit a mention in my diary. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-04T00:47:45.526-05:00 I have always loved standardized tests. Heck, I lo... I have always loved standardized tests. Heck, I love taking Cosmo quizzes. According to one of many web sites for firms offered the DAT,

"The Differential Aptitude Tests for Personnel and Career Assessment (DAT for PCA) tests applicants in eight areas that relate to successful job performance. Use it with confidence to assess candidates for selection, training, and career development in an organizational setting."

I was very eager to find out what career I should pursue, and so the idea of three days of testing to get some answers was way cool. Of course, does anyone else see the irony of a future cultural historian being glad that History class was cancelled? Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-07T20:44:34.676-05:00 Yes, children, we had an incinerator in our bac... Yes, children, we had an incinerator in our back yard -- large metal barrel standing in its end and designed to burn trash and leaves. The wet garbage from the kitchen, and anything not flammable, went into the trash can to be picked up and taken to the dump. Everything else was burned, every few days or perhaps once a week. It was evidently dry, despite all the snow earlier that winter, so when the incinerator tipped over the grass caught on fire, spreading into the pasture next door. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-09T06:29:32.453-05:00 Ha! So maybe I wasn't really giving him up, may... Ha! So maybe I wasn't really giving him up, maybe I was just saying that (even in my diary) by way of reverse seduction. What were my true feelings? By this point in the school year I remember feeling mortified everytime I saw him. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-10T07:20:46.806-05:00 Tests, mysterious tests. I still do not underst... Tests, mysterious tests. I still do not understand this grade on my 10th grade history test, which, if you recall was a single essay. My guess, now that I am a teacher, is that the entire class bombed and he got tired of writing comments before he got to my exam. But he couldn't fail the whole class, so he curved the grades.
This was modern European history, which I think went from the 1400s to sort of the present (i.e., a little past WWII). I started off strong in the course, but slipped second marking period and stayed in the B range, by the skin of my teeth. The odd thing is that I experienced one of my great "aha" moments sitting in Mr. Liedlich's history class. We where learning about Voltaire, and something he said made me look at Voltaire's portait in my text and realize he had actually lived. Suddenly, I was able to grasp the reality of history -- flesh and blood people, now accessible only through the documents and artifacts they left behind. But Mr. Liedlich never asked me about that. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-11T09:26:51.740-05:00 OK, so when I said I was going to "give up" Vin... OK, so when I said I was going to "give up" Vincent, I meant I was going to try to stop being to painfully obvious about having a crush on him. We are now at stage two of my non-relationship with him -- the cool, mature approach. Or something like that. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-13T09:45:44.733-05:00 And so began a lifetime of back problems. And so began a lifetime of back problems. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-16T08:21:30.340-05:00 I had started building a leisure wardrobe of ya... I had started building a leisure wardrobe of yard-sale finds, and my 10 cent Army fatigue jacket was a fave. The picture was taken in the fall of '65. Love the high water pants (the fun of being 5'9" in a 5'6" world) and the penny loafers.

As a college prep student, I could not take any electives until senior year, and I was very interested in taking art, or at least joining the art club. Mrs. Houson had been my art teacher in middle school, and was terrifyingly sophisticated, with her very short white hair, sweeping skirts and black turtleneck sweaters. I finally did take art my senior year, instead of Trig/PreCalc, and enjoyed the class immensely. (Did not enjoy the C'd and D's I got in physics because I didn't understand the math portion of the class.) Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-17T06:42:17.653-05:00 When I just tried to publish this entry, I got ... When I just tried to publish this entry, I got an error, and my immediate reaction was that Blogger won't let you use the N word. I almost considered not using it, myself, but in the end, preserving the authentic language and tone of my diary won out.

There was one African American family in New Milford, and one mixed family; and they sent a total of four kids to my high school when I was there. I watched the civil rights movement (bizarrely called the Negro Revolution at this forum) on television, not in my backyard.
I remember being deeply shocked that anyone in Connecticut would use that word. Racists lived in the South; Northerners were the good guys. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-19T08:02:39.916-05:00 1. Why was I taking advice from Helen? She was ... 1. Why was I taking advice from Helen? She was a nice person, but she had no more of a social life than I did.

2. I never did get to a CYO dance, despite months of scheming and planning. My dad's objection was to the idea of a girl going stag to any dance. My mother was uneasy about my having a Catholic boyfriend. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-20T08:07:13.833-05:00 True story: a few years ago, I mentioned to som... True story: a few years ago, I mentioned to some of my students that my parents had originally objected to my "mixed marriage", and one of them thought that meant I'd married a woman. She couldn't imagine anyone objecting to "two Christians getting married". Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-22T08:10:57.626-05:00 That's my big brother Bob, the handsome devil. ... That's my big brother Bob, the handsome devil. Hard to imagine that he was considered fat, or that he and his small circle of friends were considered the local geeks. (Being into trainspotting, model railroads and bowling probably helped that image.) But to me, he was always my amazing, clever, talented and hilariously funny big brother. The only person ever capable of making me shoot milk out of my nose and pee in my pants at the same time.

Happy birthday, Bobby. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-22T21:07:28.293-05:00 wow does he ever look like danny in that pic! wow does he ever look like danny in that pic! Jacob Howleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07336900024837149045 2006-03-23T09:26:09.726-05:00 Bernie was the camp name of Bernice Moore, the ... Bernie was the camp name of Bernice Moore, the director of Northwestern Connecticut Girl Scout Council and of its summer camp, Maria Pratt, in Goshen. She still stand out as one of the very best people I ever met, and certainly a role model. She was not conventionally attractive, especially by the standards of the 50s and early 50s. Tiny eyes, large nose and short wavy gray hair, with a sense of style that can only be described as grown up tom boy. But she represented an image of female success and power that was unlike anything else I knew. She was commanding and authoritative, but warm and approachable even when in "boss" mode. She had a handsome husband who was willing to living in a cabin at a Girl Scout camp two months a year. Every girl at that camp adored her, and she seemed to genuinely adore every single one, without playing favorites.

I wrote to her several years ago, when I was running a day camp for our local council. She wrote me back a lovely letter, full of news about other "girls" from Maria Pratt. As far as I can tell, she's still alive and kicking, now in her 80s.

Go, Bernie. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-24T08:12:24.670-05:00 Again, I blush at my ignorance at 15. Of course... Again, I blush at my ignorance at 15. Of course the grand piano would be better for a recital than an upright. I am so sorry, Charlie, if you are out there.

Ah, and two other comments. The horizontal underline ("nice") does not begin to replicate the swirly exhuberance of the original. And the following fall, Mike R would be dead, accidently shot by his best friend while hunting in the woods near his house. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-03-28T10:29:51.220-05:00 How do you pronounce "Yech"? I take it t... How do you pronounce "Yech"? I take it to be a sign of disgust, but its use here is kind of confusing... Jacob Howleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07336900024837149045 2006-04-04T07:58:35.793-04:00 For some reason, many churches (then and now) t... For some reason, many churches (then and now) think it is a good idea to ask their teenaged members to babysit for free. As an adult, I know that it is the sort of thing that church board think will appeal to and suit teenagers. But consider that at 13, most teenagers in many traditions have "come of age" through confirmation or some other rite, and are supposedly young adults. What other age or identity group is "volunteered" categorically for some kind fo duty?

Remembering the chagrin I felt at been the constant babysitter at my church (and thereby missing half the services, especially the big ones), I have argued against this practice in my own church. If you need volunteers for a task, issue an open invitation.

Oh my, where did that rant come from? Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-05T08:36:55.896-04:00 After transcribing all these entries that inclu... After transcribing all these entries that include snow storms, it is amazing to recall that we had no snow days in our small Western Connecticut town that winter. If we had the same winter in the Maryland suburb where I live now, we'd be doing make-up days until the end of June.

But that's winter in the north country, children. So your momma wasn't exaggerating; I really did walk a mile to school in the snow, uphill (but only in the morning). Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-06T08:43:46.373-04:00 There's the infamous Mr. Wharton, from the 1965... There's the infamous Mr. Wharton, from the 1965 yearbook. He was shorter than I, with a raspy, screechy voice like Gilbert Gottfried's. He would eventually stop checking notebooks and go into real estate.

I may have seemed an unlikely candidate for high school drop-out, but my 16th birthday was coming up in May. For some kids, that meant being old enough to drive, but for me it was the age at which school became optional. (At least theoretically.) Sophomore year really was bad enough (in my mind) that I used to daydream about dropping out. Oddly enough, I had no idea what I would do AFTER dropping out.

Oh, and Freddie and the Dreamers! Geeky-looking lead singer and lively, pop novelty songs. "Do the Freddie" was the "Macarena" of its day. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-06T08:46:32.033-04:00 Loved this description from Lester Bangs, court... Loved this description from Lester Bangs, courtesy of Wikipedia:

"... Freddie and the Dreamers [had] no masterpiece but a plentitude of talentless idiocy and enough persistence to get four albums and one film soundtrack released ... the Dreamers looked as thuggish as Freddie looked dippy ... Freddie and the Dreamers represented a triumph of rock as cretinous swill, and as such should be not only respected, but given their place in history."

So true. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-07T08:28:09.210-04:00 Now that's a landmark day for a severe acrophob... Now that's a landmark day for a severe acrophobe! Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-08T09:16:55.836-04:00 It does my heart good to realize that my memory... It does my heart good to realize that my memory was as terrible at 15 as it is today. There were only 5 disguised stars, not 6, in "The List of Adrian Messenger". I remember it as a really gripping mystery; wonder how it holds up by today's standards? Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-09T08:38:44.386-04:00 Haiku on Vincent

After the sock hop
I... Haiku on Vincent

After the sock hop
I said I never loved him
With my fingers crossed

And so began my descent into the hell of the woman scorned. My diary entries about Vincent were about to turn very bitter and mean. Was it my attempt to exorcize my feelings for him? Was it too many romantic films where the lovers detest each other at first, only to realize the depth of their passion in the middle of a crisis? Poor Vincent. He wasn't teasing me. He was just dancing with girls his own age and avoiding the wierd 15-year-old stalker. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-09T18:26:20.746-04:00 Nice enjambment. Nice enjambment. Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00712949925249641029 2006-04-10T09:21:17.363-04:00 I guess the "smells and bells" of St. John's Ep... I guess the "smells and bells" of St. John's Episcopal Church didn't float my boat all the time. The holy roller remark at the end is a puzzle -- probably tossed in for humorous effect, since the inclusion of ecstatic Christians in my rant against a too-sombre Palm Sunday service seems inappropriate. I wonder how much of that came from whatever after church discussion the family had in the car? My father was a very reluctant Episcopalian, and regularly criticized its Anglican trappings -- the plush kneelers, the sonorous chants by our rector, refering to the ministers as "father". My mother liked it all immensely, despite her upbringing as an Evangelical Lutheran preacher's kid.

The funny thing is that now, I see my memories of my girlhood in Lutherland as very much being tinted by childhood's rosy glasses. Sunday School, Vacation Bible School and Cherub Choir were fun; struggling with my beliefs and church doctrine in confrmation class was not. But the organist at St. John's did play the hymns way too slowly. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-12T07:59:18.050-04:00 Why does it seem like this diary is a series of... Why does it seem like this diary is a series of incredibly inappropriate non sequitirs? Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-15T09:39:51.623-04:00 Mom's plans are always made keeping in mind the ca... Mom's plans are always made keeping in mind the capacities of every sibling.I think you should stretch upto mom's plan. Aparnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09013525918603959024 2006-04-15T09:44:56.660-04:00 I believe my mom was still working part time at... I believe my mom was still working part time at the hospital at this point, and as a result, my brother and I inherited lots of the housework. Being a holiday weekend, there would have been additional cleaning, cooking and shopping. Even on an ordinary weekend, my Saturday would have begun with Mom playing Sousa marches at full blast to get us out of bed for morning chores. My usual assignment was cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen. On the one hand, it certainly got me used to a clean house (though I do not do these things on a schedule). On the other hand, it guaranteed that my kids would NOT have regular chores. I gave up on every attempt to have them be responsible for more than their own rooms and homework. (And failed at holding them to that, most of the time.) Sorry, A and J. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-15T09:51:17.993-04:00 In response to aparna's comment, I was a pretty... In response to aparna's comment, I was a pretty compliant kid, and usually did my chores with minimal complaining. My brother usually got tasked with vacuuming, yardwork and errands (since had his driver's license). This being the mid-60s, I pretty much bought my mother's explanation that she was training us for adulthood -- so I got the Mommy jobs and Bob got the Daddy jobs. I did NOT keep my own room very clean, and usually accomplished a semblance of order by stuffing things under the bed and into my closet. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-25T07:35:27.953-04:00 Actually, in 1965, Freddie Garrity was about 25... Actually, in 1965, Freddie Garrity was about 25; but of course, that is the same as 30 to a 15-year-old. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-25T07:46:11.850-04:00 It's embarrassing that I felt that way aout the... It's embarrassing that I felt that way aout the Beach Boys. But frankly, at the time, the Beach Boys reminded me too much musically of the Ventures, by then considered an "oldies band". The British groups were reworking oldies with a new sound, which I preferred (though I was beginning to follow Motown more). Besides, the Beach Boys weren't even remotely cute and their clothing was more hoody (old meaning) than mod. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-27T07:40:24.513-04:00 Ignoring the obscure Señor Wences reference, here's what was really at work, in retrospect:

I still carried a big flaming torch for Vincent, and if he had suddenly shown an interest in me, all my grumbling and sniping would cease. What I really and truly hated was the realization that the more you share your secret crush, the more embarrassing it can be come. My parents knew, my brother knew, my friends knew (including Helen, one of the notorious phonaholics in school) and it is safe to say Vincent knew. Going to school under those circumstances (especially a small school, only about 650 students) meant being the object of curious scrutiny every time he and I passed each other in the hall or found ourselves in the library at the same time.

Small wonder that I later developed such an affinity for the works of Jane Austen, espcially "Sense and Sensibility", with its dual themes of the dangers of premature public affection AND the pain of private emotion. Part of growing up is learning to savor secret crushes like chocolate-covered cherries, melting slowly behind closed lips. Not chewed with an open mouth.

(Apologies to Forrest Gump.) Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-28T07:38:55.666-04:00 ...and yet, why was I attending a track meet? W... ...and yet, why was I attending a track meet? Why did I know how he placed? Why can I still picture him "prancing around" in his track shorts? Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-04-30T08:46:25.370-04:00 I'll bet it was "Stop stalking me!" I'll bet it was "Stop stalking me!" Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-05-01T08:29:31.906-04:00 Well, it's likely that my mother's back did hur... Well, it's likely that my mother's back did hurt more than mine -- she eventually had to have back surgery, after years of being told it was all in her head and being improperly medicated, which screwed her up further. And since she worked part-time at a physically demanding job (nursing) while doing most of the housework and cooking, she also worked harder than I did. In fact, I don't ever remember seeing my mother just watching TV. She was always working at the same time -- ironing, mending, cooking or something.

But it is also true that I did more housework than my friends did, and don't recall my effort ever being acknowledged, except for being told it was not enough or not right. And it is very true that I learned not to talk to my parents about my worries and concerns, because they inevitably trivialized them.

Yet all in all, I realize now that my parents were, like most parents, doing the best they could and trying not to repeat the sins of their own parents. My mother told me much later how her mother had criticized all of her daughters incessantly, picking on their vulnerabilities and pitting them against each other. They had also all been physically punished for any omission of slight infraction of the rules, even as teenagers. She knew she had made mistakes of her own, but was relieved she had not repeated those of her own mother. How very familiar! Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-05-03T09:34:27.616-04:00 Oh, my. Was I really that transparent in my lou... Oh, my. Was I really that transparent in my loud expressions of distain? Oh my. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-05-05T08:17:10.236-04:00 It would be easier to read this now if I had ma... It would be easier to read this now if I had managed to be kinder to my own children than my parents were to me. But the fact is I also had my hard, sarcastic moments -- and then some. I replay them in my head, wishing I would erase them all.

Not that it's an excuse, but now I understand how much stress my parents were under and see how it played out with my brother and myself. Their marriage was falling apart, my mother was in constant pain and my father was being jerked around by an evil boss. My stressors were different -- upheaval at work, the deaths of my parents, emotional fallout from the murder of a close friend of my husband's -- but my attempts to bottle up the fear and anxiety were no solution. Inevitably, it spilled out, expressing itself in harsh criticism of the ones I loved the most. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-05-07T08:33:42.806-04:00 So much comment fodder today! First, how sad is... So much comment fodder today! First, how sad is it that I was so tongue-tied around boys that I counted how many I spoke to in single digits. As I recall, that included saying "hi" passing in the corridor.

Second -- a slave auction as a fund-raiser! Now there's a cultural artifact that's gone the way of white gloves and calling cards. For what it's worth, it was styled as something Roman (togas on the slaves) not American. There was a kind of a sexual undercurrent, as the "slave" candidates were usually the cutest unattached kids in the school. It wouldn't do to auction off someone's actual boyfriend.

Third, I love how my crush on Vincent keeps resurfacing, despite all my protestations. But wait. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-05-16T21:30:51.313-04:00 I seem to recall that Calhoun County High School (... I seem to recall that Calhoun County High School (or was it one of the middle schools?) had similar slave auctions. ::shudder:: I always found something really wrong about it, but I had a hard time articulating it to my peers. Maybe it was the odd sexual overtone in my isolated, Christian home county. Maybe it was the Caucasian homogeneity that blinded people to the historical wrongness of the idea. Dunno. But yeah, school slave auctions as recent as my lifetime.

It's like something out of a Michael Moore skit. Or a Christopher Guest movie. Jacob Howleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07336900024837149045 2006-05-16T22:37:50.170-04:00 There were definitely sexual undertones there. The... There were definitely sexual undertones there. The girl who eventually went for the highest price -- Claire -- was very pretty and flirtatious, and definitely unattached. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-05-16T22:41:22.826-04:00 Oh, and if you search on high school "slave auctio... Oh, and if you search on high school "slave auction" fundraiser, you'll be amazed at how common this event still is! Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-06-17T11:19:20.210-04:00 And with that entry, the diary falls silent until ... And with that entry, the diary falls silent until August 8, while I was away at Camp Maria Pratt as a program aide. Evidently, I did not take the diary with me. What a school year it had been! Academically, I was all over the place. For the best part of the year I was besotted with love for a senior. I struggled to understand love and sexuality at a time when hardly any real information was available, and popular culture was saturated with myth and fantasy. Beyond my personal bubble, there was a disturbing world of racial conflict, assassinations, war and nuclear terror.

But the summer of 1965 was a retreat from all of that. No boys, no TV, no newspapers, just a hundred of so girls living in tents, singing by the campfire and getting around by foot. Oh, reality intruded now and then. But more about that next week. Yes, I'll be posting memories and pictures from that summer weekly, until the Diary resumes in August. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-08-27T08:54:02.683-04:00 so I got busy and not only didn't post the other s... so I got busy and not only didn't post the other stuff, but forgot to resume on the 8th. Soon, soon, I promise Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-09-13T16:57:40.330-04:00 Never saw the movie, but I was a huge Route 66 TV ... Never saw the movie, but I was a huge Route 66 TV show fan. HUGE! G.M. was the cool guy every nurdy boy without a car, just a bike, wanted to emulate... I always thought what's his name - Martin something (never watched his later TV show - the guy who actually owned
the corvette was not cool at all. Anonymous 2006-09-27T16:48:25.093-04:00 come back, please! i love this blog. come back, please! i love this blog. Anonymous 2006-10-16T21:41:24.023-04:00 OK, now I am caught up until the next entry, in No... OK, now I am caught up until the next entry, in November. I can go back and comment on the earlier entries later, but thought that Ronny deserved more of a mention. He was one of two African American "exchange" students who came up to New Milford in the fall of 1965. Ralph, the other one, stayed the whole school year and had a great time -- prom king, all kinds of yearbook superlatives. Ronny, quiet and bespectacled, had more trouble fitting in. He was in some of my classes, and we enjoyed taking about school and books. We danced three times that night -- fast dances, like the Pony, which was one of my favorites. But when he asked me to slow dance, I told him I didn;t know how.

What I really didn't know how to do, at 16, was do anything that my peers would have remotely frowned upon -- like slow dancing with a "colored boy". Sorry, Ronny. I really wanted to, but I was too chicken. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2006-10-16T21:42:23.876-04:00 Oh and I have a feeling that was no "exchange" pro... Oh and I have a feeling that was no "exchange" program, 'cause no one from my school went to Alabama! Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2007-04-02T23:37:45.105-04:00 I am so happy you include things like "wotta man" ... I am so happy you include things like "wotta man" which I know I would've long since scratched out of my diaries. Anonymous 2007-04-03T10:15:38.147-04:00 I promise you, transcribing this unedited was the ... I promise you, transcribing this unedited was the hardest part. The only changes I made was in abbreviating some names to initials. But of course, everyone from New Milford High School of that era would have known all the players. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2007-05-11T13:03:06.944-04:00 Hello, I'm writing from Torino, Italy. I was searc... Hello, I'm writing from Torino, Italy. I was searching for everything that was related to June 16, 1965 and I found your blog. It's lovely.
Ciao

Ugo Ugohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10779290332685588354 2010-03-30T12:05:00.759-04:00 Bob is my big brother. Someday I am going to ask h... Bob is my big brother. Someday I am going to ask him why he didn't want me to come to the concert. But since he is now 63 and claims to have "forgotten" all the times he tricked or teased me, I doubt if he'd remember this either. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-03-31T08:44:38.225-04:00 I learned it from Mad Magazine, along with much of... I learned it from Mad Magazine, along with much of the Yiddish I know, so I am assuming the "ch" is like the initial sound in chutzpah. I say the "e" more like a schwa. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-05T09:59:49.453-04:00 You made me laugh with the last line of your comme... You made me laugh with the last line of your comment! I took my daughter to the city in upstate PA where I grew up and we drove from my house to my high school to prove that it was in fact over a mile and a very steep hill - and no snow days either!

Have enjoyed your diary posts. I didn't have the patience to ever keep one. ivbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01447238989937647009 2010-04-13T10:23:35.392-04:00 There is something lovely about a hand-written rep... There is something lovely about a hand-written report card, though. I miss good penmanship, even if I don't miss high school.At.All. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-15T12:18:22.998-04:00 Does anyone have to read Silas Marner in high scho... Does anyone have to read Silas Marner in high school anymore? Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-16T10:29:45.108-04:00 And to think this was 30 years before I even heard... And to think this was 30 years before I even heard the phrase "inner dialogue". Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-19T08:44:16.592-04:00 Yes, I used to flip through books looking for the ... Yes, I used to flip through books looking for the "juicy" parts. Thank you, all the young couples I babysat for, for supplying what my small town library would not.

On the other hand, I have no idea what my book report selection was. Or why! Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-19T08:46:15.556-04:00 For those who are unfamiliar with mid-60s western ... For those who are unfamiliar with mid-60s western Connecticut slang, hood = greaser, the opposite of a prep. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-21T09:20:13.763-04:00 I had SUCH a crush on Robert Fuller! I had SUCH a crush on Robert Fuller! Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-22T10:59:03.769-04:00 Oh, the pain of teenage heartbreak. It took a whil... Oh, the pain of teenage heartbreak. It took a while to get over my first real live crush. And I still stalk him on the internets. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-23T10:30:49.584-04:00 Imagine a Saturday night of television that includ... Imagine a Saturday night of television that included Jackie Gleason, Gilligan, Secret Agent. Gunsmoke, and Johnny Carson. And to think Newton Minnow thought television was a vast wasteland THEN. I can't imagine what he'd think today. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-04-26T10:23:22.667-04:00 It's official; the violent crush has turned to... It's official; the violent crush has turned to shame-induced revulsion. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-05-05T14:06:55.524-04:00 This is the first time I've read your journal.... This is the first time I've read your journal. Interesting!

Sorry to hear your life was so stressful when you were raising children.

It seems a scary thing to me to write about childhood thoughts. I'm kind of glad I don't know what they were.

The only journal I've kept is of my late teen to young adult years, before my 2nd child was born, which was mostly life details and not really feelings.

I just started a new journal that I write in only once per week that I would never air in public. :) Anonymous 2010-05-05T15:40:06.850-04:00 Sadly, I forgot this lesson within a week. Sadly, I forgot this lesson within a week. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2010-05-19T11:41:42.451-04:00 Hmm. No boyfriend, and I liked to play softball. O... Hmm. No boyfriend, and I liked to play softball. Only my gratitude for a new purse saved me from the shame of teh gay. Actually, there were rumors, but I had no idea what "queer" meant. Thanks to the power of peer pressure, I still thought I might be queer -- whatever it was. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2011-04-14T16:19:36.164-04:00 You have no idea how rampant cultural appropriatio... You have no idea how rampant cultural appropriation was back in the day. Graceful Pine, indeed. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2012-02-21T09:34:25.480-05:00 This entry never ceases to amaze me. Not because I... This entry never ceases to amaze me. Not because I toss off a reference to a major national event after a recap of a boring day of baby-sitting, but because I actually mentioned it at all. My diary doesn't reflect the political me; I actually read the Autobiography of Malcolm X for a book report later that year. But being politically engaged was not cool, so I kept it quiet. Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11792610265217450971 2022-02-20T04:33:46.684-05:00 شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بسيهات
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بالظهران
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بالنعيرية
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بالدمام
وليد العروىhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12951193698753063662